#if u mean something else lmk but idk !
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Looks like they've removed everything from the twitch...
i dont quite know what you mean, if you mean the vods are no longer up then i think theyre making them patreon exclusive per this part of their latest patreon post

which didnt seem like what they were saying last stream but idk
otherwise the channel seems normal when i just looked?
#if u mean something else lmk but idk !#fwiw im not subbed on patreon nrbe just provides the updates that r exclusive ty nrbe đđ«¶#asks
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thinking about loser (perv) idia .á
â° pairings. idia shroud x shy fem! reader
â° warnings. suggestive content. loser! idia at first but then he becomes a pervert (yum). noncon (?). pantie sniffing and stealing. stalking. uhhh idk what else. mdni
â° word count. 1.5k
â° a/n. i was on idia brainrot these past few weeks and decided to whip a lil something up ;) enjoy reading and lmk your thoughts!
â loser! idia who kept his head down, ignoring everyone, why does crowley need ALL housewardens to attend to a stupid meeting in the first place? he was busy uttering curses in his mind when your sweet voice broke the ruckus. his head snapped up just slightly, just enough to steal a glance at you. w-wait were you stuttering?! and you werenât just stutteringâyou were anxiously fidgeting with your hands too!! are you nervous because of the meeting? because of someone? orâwaitâwhat if youâre nervous because you hate crowds too?! oh god, did he just find a fellow social avoidance expert??
â loser! idia who actually wanted to approach and talk to you, but obviously heâs a coward. yeah, nope, definitely NOT happening. heâd literally rather fight a final boss solo with no revives than approach you right now. and so, as the meeting adjourns, he quickly and quietly leaves the room (with his heart racing wildly and his face burning).Â
â loser! idia who desperately tried to avoid you at every turnâbut it was like the universe had other plans. no matter where he tried to hide, there you were. his carefully scouted, ultra-secret, 1000% normie-free safe zones? infiltrated. by you. of all people. what kind of cruel RNG was this?! ugh, this was turning into a way bigger side quest than he signed up for. his usual gaming hideout behind the school? you were there, sitting on the steps, quietly reading. the abandoned hallway near the library? you showed up, looking just as startled to see him as he was to see you. EVEN THE ROOFTOPâhis ultimate last resortâhad somehow become your preferred quiet spot?! and the worst part is sometimes, heâd see you there⊠and instead of running, heâd hesitate. just for a second. becauseâugh, heâd never say it out loudâbut you werenât loud like the other normies. you werenât disruptive. you were just⊠there. quiet. fidgeting. existing in your own little world.
â loser! idia who finally gained the courage to approach you. oh but trust him, it wasnât like he wanted toâhe just⊠happened to be in the same spot as you (again), and instead of immediately running in the opposite direction like usual, he somehow convinced himself to stay. which, might have been a huge mistake because the second your eyes flickered up to meet his, his brain immediately started screaming. abort, abort, abortâ but youâd already seen him. his escape route had been cut off. and he just stood there, shifting on his feet, pulling at the strings of his hoodie like it was a lifeline. his mouth opened. closed. opened again. say something, you coward!Â
â loser! idia who mumbled the weakest, most pathetic greeting ever known. âu-uhâŠyo?â his voice cracked, and he wanted the ground to swallow him up whole there on the spot. that was so cringe!! seriously?! âyoâ?! what am i a generic background delinquent?! while he was having a crisis, you chuckled softly before greeting him in return. idia.exe has stopped working.
â loser! idia who didnât know how this âfriendshipâ between you even started. at first he avoided you like the plague and the next thing he knew, you two were hanging out like it was normal. at first, he figured you were just another shy person suffering through NRC, but the more you talked, the more he realizedâwait, you actually get him?! you didnât just tolerate his rants about games, anime, and how normies were a blight upon existenceâyou joined in. he slowly let his guard down around you. he didnât even mean to, but you were just⊠easy to talk to. there were no expectations, no forced small talk, no annoying social pressure. if you two sat in silence, it wasnât awkward. if you talked, it wasnât exhausting. before he knew it, he was complaining about gacha rates and actually making jokes without wanting to crawl into a hole and die afterward.
â loser! idia who slowly fell for you and your little quirks. but hey! itâs not like you can blame him. you were stupidly cute in ways that made his heart do dumb things. you matched his energyâavoiding crowds, hiding from normies, nerding out over random things. you got excited about the smallest details, and somehow, somehow, you even made him feel like maybe, just maybe, he wasnât the biggest loser in existence.
â loser! idia who slowly became possessive and obsessive over you. it started as just worry, okay?! totally normal levels of concern. but then his mind started spiralingâwhat if something bad happened to you and he wasnât around?! NRC was a literal villain academy, full of shady, power-hungry weirdos, you canât trust any of the students hereâwell, aside from him and ortho but thatâs besides the point! youâwith your big doe eyes and painfully sweet personalityâwere basically walking around with a giant âEASY TARGETâ sign on your back. you can be easily taken advantage of!
â loser! idia who swore to be your protector. it wasnât even a choice at this pointâit was a necessity. so what if he wasnât exactly the heroic, sword-wielding, normie-approved protector type? he had brains. he had strategy. and most importantlyâhe had a highly advanced AI-powered little brother who could do background checks on anyone who so much as looked at you funny. he might be a loser, but if he notices someone teasing or making you uncomfortable, heâll reluctantly step in. âH-hey, back off, normie⊠uh, I mean, donât be rude, or whateverâŠâ then he drags you away like a panicked introvert escaping a social interaction.
â loser perv! idia who set up cameras all over ramshackle dorm to âkeep an eye out on you.â it wasnât stalking! no no, this was just preventative security measures! NRC was dangerous, okay?! a totally defenseless, magicless, too-trusting person like you? living alone in a rundown, ghost-infested dorm? that was basically asking for trouble. anyone with half a brain wouldâve done the same! (right?)
â loser perv! idia who watches you 24/7 watching everything. the way you got ready for bed. the way you sighed and stretched when you thought no one was looking. the way your shirt slipped off your shoulder sometimes. and oh god, when you absentmindedly played with the hem of your skirt or chewed on the end of your pen? yeah. he was so beyond saving. okay so maybe he checked the cameras a little too often. maybe he kept the feed open on one of his monitors at all times. maybe he watched you even when there was no actual danger. but itâs not like he was doing anything weird! just⊠making sure you werenât lonely!
â loser perv! idia who became utterly obsessed with you. heâd watch you from afar, his eyes tracing every movement, every smile. his room was filled with pictures of you, some taken without your knowledge. his obsession grew darker, more twisted. his obsession became all-consuming. he hacked into your social media accounts, reading your private messages and learning more about you than you ever intended to share. heâd watch you through hidden cameras he installed in your room, feeling a twisted sense of satisfaction as he invaded your privacy.
â loser perv! idia who snuck into your dorm one night as you were asleep. he watched you for hours, his heart racing with excitement and fear. oh how he wanted to touch you, to feel your skin against his. but he knew he couldnât risk waking you up. instead, he roamed your room. touching your things, smelling the perfume you use, looking at the plushies you kept, but it wasnât enough, so he made his way to your bathroom and went through all your dirty clothing. sniffing the clothes you wore, rummaging for ages until he found it. your soiled panties. he took them all, moaning as he smelt your scent on them. god he can feel himself growing hard right now. he took your underwear and kept them all on the pocket of his hoodie. but before he left he made sure to give you one look, and well maybe a peck on your cheek, but itâs not like youâd find out, right?
â loser perv! idia who rushed to his dorm room and locked it to make sure no one would disturb him.Â
â loser perv! idia who watched various amounts of hentai that night, imagining it was you writhing and moaning under him. he pulled off his sweats and boxers and let his cock free. he hissed as the cold air hit his cockâthen, he pulled your panties from where he had kept them. one hand sniffing it, and the other jerking himself off. he was so close, he could feel it, and so he took your underwear and jerked himself with it. oh fuck, he couldnât take it anymore.
â loser perv! idia who couldnât help himself from moaning your name over, and over until he came hard. his mind filled with dirty thoughts of defiling your innocence. god, he canât wait to ruin you. he jerked himself faster, and faster until he came. his fluids soiling your panties. his breathing was labored, cheeks flushed. ah shit, this wasnât gonna cut it, he needed more.
all rights reserved to © suguslve.
#đ©êšïžđȘ suguslve writes#sugu blurbs đȘœ#twisted wonderland#disney twst#twst#idia shroud#idia x reader#twst idia#idia x reader smut#twst smut#twisted wonderland smut#idia smut
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DREAMS COME TRUE â lmk



pairing : mark x fem!reader. genre : fluff, est relationship, wedding, idk what else warnings : mentions of getting married synopsis : in which a dream of yours starts to become a reality thanks to your boyfriend wc : 1.3k a/n : nct dream debut w da loml, not much else to say sooo if u like it pls like n reblog!
here you stood, in front of all the people you held dear. to your right you had your bridesmaid and best friend, and further on in the front row were your parents. in front of you however was the love of your life, soulmate, other half, and everything in between. he looks at you with those doe eyes of his, those same eyes forming into crescents as he smiles and reaches for your hand.
the officiant stood between the two of you, reading out the typical things that were read during the wedding, but you werenât paying attention. the only thing you could focus on was the man in front of you, smiling at you warmly. his smile could calm all of your nerves in an instant. âyn yln do you take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband?â the officiant broke you out of your thoughts. you look to him and then back at mark, who only smiles at you. âi doâ you say, feeling your heart swell at the words alone. âand do you, mark lee, take this woman to be your lawfully wedded wife?â he turns to look at mark and suddenly every thought is popping in your head.
what if he said no? what if he suddenly regretted the thought of marrying you and abandoned you here in front of all your friends and family. two words break you out of your thoughts, âi doâ he says, smiling and gripping your hand tighter. you smile as well, feeling a wave of emotions, you were married now, to the love of your life. âyou may kiss the brideâ the officiant says, now smiling at the two of you. mark begins to lean in, you as well, closing your eyesâŠ
your eyes open to see marks chest. you look up at him, scrolling mindlessly on his phone. your eyes look around your all too familiar shared bedroom. It was all a dream. you werenât getting married, hell you werent even engaged. it was all just a silly stupid dream. mark looked to you and smiled softly, setting his phone down. âgood morning babyâ he spoke raspily, that same rasp he always had in his voice in the mornings. you gave him a tight lipped smile, âmorningâ you mumbled back.Â
the problem was that you knew mark would know something was up, the two of you had been together for 3 years now. so when you laid down next to him he turned his body to face you. âwhats wrong?â he looked to you with those doe eyes, oh those eyes. you turned your head and sighed softly. âjust a dream babe thats allâ you replied back because what else could you say? how could you tell your boyfriend of 3 years that you were suddenly yearning for marriage after never mentioning it, all because of a stupid dream.Â
âcmon tell meâ he frowned slightly, hand moving up to stroke your hair. your cheeks turned pink, âits so dumb markâ you mumbled, making him smile and shake his head. ânothing you say is dumb baby, now tell meâ he spoke softly, he always spoke so soft with you. itâs what made him so easy to talk to. âi had a dream we were getting married, like we were at the ceremony and allâ you breathed out, looking at him expecting a big reaction.
instead he just smiled and giggled a little. âthats all?â he responded, making you furrow your brows. âwhat do you mean thats allâ you reply, smiling softly now at the situation. âits normal baby, weâve been together so longâ he shrugs, as if getting married is just no big deal! he hadnât even popped the question, how could he be so normal about this?
âyouâre being weirdly normal about this babeâ you said, inching closer to him so your head was now on his shoulder as he looked up at the ceiling. his arm went under your head to pull you closer to him, his hand on the small of your back now. you rested your head against his chest once again, hearing his heartbeat, making you smile. you always felt so much closer to him when the two of you laid like this.
âi mean at least i know you want to marry meâ mark speaks up, breaking the silence between you two. you furrow your brows once more, âof course i want to marry you mark is that even a questionâ he looks down to you, smiling softly. âwhere would we get married then?â he said, smiling as he spoke. you could tell he was dying to have this conversation with you at some point. âwould you want a destination wedding?â you rested your chin on his chest so you could look at him properly. âdepends, i would go wherever you want me to babyâ he smiled, making your cheeks turn a soft shade of pink.Â
mark did that often, he would say something that would make your heart swell with love and just act like he never said it. you hummed, deep in thought trying to rack through the places you would want to be married. âmaybe parisâ you responded, earning a small giggle from mark. âooo the city of loveâ he teased, making you laugh along with him. âcmon you would love to get married there wouldnât you?â you responded, smiling whilst talking. your cheeks would always hurt with mark because of how much you smiled.Â
âokay fine parisâ he rolled his eyes teasingly, âwhat about the ceremony, private or big and grandâ he asked and you hummed in thought once more. âi think we would both want it to be private right?â you furrowed your brows, making him nod. âobviously your family and mine, and some of our closest friendsâ he responded, as if already having a mental guest list.Â
âwhat about the ring?â you tilt your head, making mark stroke your hair once again. his hand always had to be playing with your hair. âgold, you dont wear silverâ he responded, quickly. âwow, im surprised you knewâ you replied, rather sarcastically making him laugh. âi would get you any ring you wanted, just say the wordâ he replied, making you smile once more.
âyeah the real question is when are you proposing?â you scoffed amusingly. you shifted your position to lay your head back on his chest, his arm holding your waist. mark laid in silence for a couple minutes, clearly deep in thought. then he said a sentence that you didnât think you would hear this morning. âi mean we could go pick a ring now?âÂ
you sat up almost immediately, mark looking up at you. âwhat?â you said, searching in his eyes for an answer. âweâre both off of work today.. so we could goâ he said once more, smiling. you smiled even bigger. truth be told this wasnât how you imagined your proposal to go, in bed with mark, legs intertwined, bodies meshed together as one, but for some reason it was perfect, beyond that really.Â
you leaned closer to him, hugging him. smiling into the crook of his neck as he giggled like a lovestruck idiot. you pulled back, looking in his eyes. âis that a yes?â he smiled even bigger if that was possible and you nodded frantically, kissing his cheek all over then moving to his lips. the two of you locked lips, each time you kissed mark it felt like the first in the best way possible.
he smiled, his hand reached up to cup your cheek as your lips moved together slowly. this kiss felt so much more different than the others, like the two of you were holding back tears due to how happy you were. you pulled back, smiling down at him. âi love youâ you mumbled, looking in his eyes. âi love you even more babyâ he smiled back, sitting up to kiss your cheek. dreams really could come true.Â
taglist ?! @leeechin @chobunz @wensurr @ja4hyvn @livelaughluvryanreynolds @coqhee @luvyou2ooo @t1iqaa @yeehawnana @mamuljji @yourmomssneakylink @justalittle-hee @mariahxrrera @heeambi @mitmit01 @vveebee @jjongsaengzz @squiishymeow @sunghoonsperfume @ami-soph @laylasbunbunny @mochamvgz @cherrybeomm @kozumesphone @suneng @17ericas @wintertxt @bubblytaetae @silquids @heelariously @blockbusterhee @kiss4noo @hmusunoo @rriribelle @thedemonriot @srehyaps @beatrizmel-472 (bold cannot be tagged)
tagging sum nctblr moots ! (sorry for the unwanted tags) @hyuckworld @lqfiles @won4kiss
perma taglist !
#k films#đ ââ âïž ê±#en diaries#nct imagines#mark imagines#nct dream imagines#nct 127 imagines#mark fluff#nct fluff#nct dream fluff#nct 127 fluff#mark x reader#nct x reader#nct dream x reader#nct 127 x reader#mark scenarios#nct dream scenarios#nct scenarios#nct 127 scenarios#mark x you#nct x you#nct dream x you#nct 127 x you#mark fanfic#mark headcanons#nct dream headcanons#nct 127 headcanons#mark reactions#nct reactions#nct dream reactions
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hello!!! it's my first time requesting so is it alright if I can request the reader who was raised and trained to be a black widow from marvel
gn reader pls, idk if u have seen or watched marvel so if you want further details lmk!! but the one detail I want u to include (as angst ofc) is that black widows do ANYTHING for information since they are professional spies and assassins. (they are taken when they are like really young btw so like black widows, they don't got a childhood).
I gotchu, and I wrote this with an already established relationship with them in mind!
Riddle Rosehearts
Riddle is shocked, to say the least, if not a little saddened
It was like his own childhood turned up a thousand notches. At least his mother never made him kill someone
He knows that, in a new world, you have no reason to continue that life and wants more than anything to give you a new start
Frankly he doesn't want to know what you've had to do in the past, that was another life and world ago
You can truly bond with him based on wild childhood expectations and lack of a normal experience
He'll be there every step of the way to make you feel okay again, you don't need to be a Widow anymore
Leona Kingscholar
Immediately tells you never to talk about it again, but not for the reason you may think
He's royalty. How would that look if everyone figured out his significant other was an assassin?? You'd be put on trial, and your whole relationship would be undermined
He knows you aren't here to hurt him, or get information, or even get money. He knows it because he knows you. The you that had been trying so hard to fit in Twisted Wonderland, be normal
Doesn't ever want you to have to use those skills again, but he's not going to discourage it, if that makes sense? It gives him some peace that you aren't helpless
Isn't going to judge you either, he knows how shady high society can be
If you ever have to be a Widow again, just make sure he's in on it, okay?
Azul Ashengrotto
Has frankly no idea what to do when he finds out
Is this marketable?? Can you make money like this? Wait no, he quickly feels bad about thinking that, but he doesn't know what else to think of it
Just sits you down and asks you to explain everything, and listens very quietly
You tell him that you had to do things in your previous world, things you aren't proud of, that haunt you
After telling him about your childhood, or lack thereof, he brings you into a suffocatingly tight hug
You don't have to worry about any of that anymore, he's going to take care of you from now on
Kalim Al-Asim
Similar to Leona, Kalim says that it needs to be kept secret
Look, he's a ray of sunshine and generally unconcerned, but he's had his fair share of assassins. He knows what they do and what they're about
No, he isn't worried about your past, but some people around him might be
But you're the one he wants around the most!
Kalim isn't really going to understand anything you tell him, just the big picture, so if you're looking for some comfort about specific things like not having a childhood, you'll have to tell him. You just need love!
You have his support for a lifetime, and anything you need will be yours as you find new footing
Vil Schoenheit
Vil is very rarely left shocked, but here he is
What on EARTH do you mean you were a trained assassin?
After the initial bomb drop, he sits you down to talk like Azul, and allows you to just say everything you wanted to say
It's certainly... jarring to learn about it, but he's strangely calm. I mean, if you had wanted to kill him or take something from him, you would have done it by now right?
He does very briefly wonder if you were after something, but as he looks into your eyes, full of unshed tears and shear hurt... those thoughts stop
You wanted to begin anew, but could no longer keep the past from your lover, and he could work with that
Idia Shroud
Idia kind of wonders if you're like a cool movie character, then realizes you're being serious. This ACTUALLY happened to you
Honestly though? After hearing everything, the full truth, he doesn't feel any differently about you
His family has been doing the underworld's dirty work for some time. HE'S done things he wants to take back
Idia's only real concern is if you still feel the same way about him, that it wasn't just an act...
When you assure him that nothing you've done in Twisted Wonderland has been as a Widow, the relief is visible on his face
You share a tight, warm hug as you both agree to move forward together in peace and honesty
Malleus Draconia
At first, I don't think he'd think much of it. I mean, his country had gone through wars and espionage
It was like that for you, he guesses
Then he starts to see how it affects you. Your mannerisms, your habits, and your fears. It cuts him deeply
You must have had a terribly lonely life like he did, right? Not knowing warmth until you met other people, kind people
He just wants to hold you and never let go after those thoughts crossed his mind. You don't have to do anything you don't want to do anymore, and he isn't concerned about you doing that to him
As his significant other, anything like that will be taken care of for you, not by you
#twisted wonderland#twisted wonderland x reader#riddle rosehearts#riddle rosehearts x reader#azul ashengrotto#azul ashengrotto x reader#leona kingscholar#leona kingscholar x reader#kalim al asim#kalim al asim x reader#vil schoenheit#vil schoenheit x reader#idia shroud#idia shroud x reader#malleus draconia#malleus draconia x reader#headcanons
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hey hi, could i make a request? Im happy to see another good author starting :) u also seem very nice. could i request a yoongi x preferably fem!reader? if you want you can make it a genderneutral fic. my idea was a scenario were one of them is jealous, i thought of it being her jealous of him, over something stupid, but not in a toxic way like yk just pure jealusy mixed with insecurities. And they have a little petty argument and like it ends with smut i mean they make up to eachother that way :P like smut mixed with fluff at its purest. also, i am really curious to see how u write yoongi, i see many authors making him cold and tough but i believe that he is a very caring softie haha, by the morning wood headcanons, i think you got him very well ;) thank u in advance

REGRETS (m)
Pairing: Idol!Yoongi x FEM!Reader
Genre: angst, fluff, smut, one shot, request, established relationship
Warnings: jealousy, insecurities, a petty argument, depictions of sex, crying, emotional, oral sex (f receiving), vaginal fingering, bodily fluids, penetration (vaginal), a bit of praise, light biting, squirting
Word count: 5k
Summary: uhhh idk dude just read the request thatâs pretty much it
A/N: UGH I LOVE THIS IDEA!! I donât have much experience with writing angst so this was a really nice exercise. Thank you sooo so much for all the kind words, itâs what keeps me writing. Iâm also a sucker for soft Yoongi so this is right up my alley. (Also this is not proofread so lmk if thereâs any mistakes or anything)
Thursday night, itâs quiet outside. Youâre trying to watch a movie with Yoongi. Key word trying. His hand has been gently rubbing your thigh for a few minutes now, whenever he tries sliding it up to tease you, you grab it and put it back onto his lap. Heâs clearly trying to get you heated, but itâs having quite the opposite effect. Lately youâve felt quite out of it, your lack of confidence causing you to avoid intimacy. With Yoongi being the gentleman he is, he always accepts it when he realizes youâre not in the mood and he moves on. However, youâre starting to doubt his ability to keep going like this. What if he realizes you arenât satisfactory to him anymore? He could easily find someone else who would be all over him in seconds.
Replaceable. Thatâs how youâve been feeling lately. He could have anyone he wants, so why you? âAre you not feeling it tonight?â Yoongiâs voice startles you out of your thoughts. âHuh? Oh. No Iâm sorry.â You respond, your voice growing quieter with the end of the sentence. âThatâs okay, câmere.â He mumbles before pulling you into his chest, his hand soothing down your back.
âWill he stay with me if I keep pushing him away like this?â Is what you keep asking yourself. On one hand youâre afraid heâll stop loving you if you stop showing him affection. And on the other hand, youâve been so self conscious lately about your body and if youâre doing things right you donât know if itâs worse to ruin the relationship by pushing him away or by not being good enough. âDo I even deserve to be with him at this point?â

Friday, 4:37PM. You got off work early today so you decided to stop by Yoongiâs studio. Heâs still working so youâre lounging around on one of the couches inside of the room. The two of you had made plans to get dinner together when he finishes up for the day which youâre really looking forward to.
A short blurry figure appears at the studio door, they raise their hand up and place three quiet knocks onto the glass. Yoongi gets up with a huff and opens the door. In front of him stands a familiar woman, you canât quite remember her name, but youâve seen her around the company building before.
âHereâs your coffee Suga!â She says in a cheery tone. Her eyes land on you and her smile falls a bit. âOh, I didnât know you would be here. Sorry I didnât get you anything.â She apologizes with a light bow of her head. You dismiss her with a wave of your hand before going back to fidgeting with the hem of your sweater. She turns her attention back to Yoongi who is setting his drink down onto his desk. âHey Suga, a few of us are going to that barbecue place down the street for dinner and drinks tonight. Do you guys wanna come with?â She asks with a tilt of her head, her long black hair swaying with the movement.
âUhh, yeah?â He looks at you quickly for confirmation to which you nod your head lightly. âYeah. Sure weâll come.â
Yoongi continues chatting with the girl. She casually leans against the door frame, the conversation between them flowing oh so easily. âIt took me ages to be able to talk to him that smoothly. Why couldnât I be like her?â You think to yourself, trying your best to not let your irritation show.
He bids her farewell and sits back down at his desk. For the remaining time you spend in his studio all you can look at is him. Your gaze burns holes into his side profile, tracing each curve of his features over and over again. Why would a man whose heart only knows kindness, whose eyes and soul are so understanding of everything be with you? Your being is rotten with unforgiving bitterness, you seethe at every imperfection like a nun enraged by sin. Why would he want you?
Heâs like a wild flower. He needs to be pollinated by the love and kindness of a bee to bloom, yet he stays with you, a caterpillar feeding off of him, biting off his flesh for your gain. Eating away at him and leaving nothing. Maybe you arenât even a caterpillar. They can eventually turn into a beautiful creature with wings of eyeful colors, yet you canât become anything more than what you are. Youâre stuck in a vicious cycle, devouring ïżŒevery resource without paying any mind to the fact there will be nothing left when youâre done. What does he get for loving you if you canât be of use? You canât make him bloom.
â(Y/N)? (Y/N)!â You snap out of your thoughts, the reality around you giving you whiplash. Yoongi is kneeling in front of you, holding your jacket out. âLetâs go, weâll be late.â You try to take it from his hands, but instead of giving it to you he holds it up so you can slip your arms inside. Once itâs on you he turns you around and zips it up for you. âOkay, letâs go.â
As youâre walking down the long hallways towards the elevators, Yoongi notices something odd. You usually grab onto his hand the moment you start walking somewhere together, but your hand is tucked away in your pocket now. He gently pulls it out and intertwines your fingers together. You canât bring yourself to grip onto him like usual, instead you limply keep your hand at your side, letting him hold it. Heâs a bit confused by this, but nevertheless he keeps holding you, his grasp only growing tighter in an effort to reassure you.
Yang Sunhee. Her name popped up in your head the moment she sat down across from you and Yoongi at the long wooden table. Sheâs been leading the conversation at your part of the table for a while now, mostly talking to Yoongi. To her credit she has tried to include you into the conversation a few times, but you didnât really give her much to work with so she gave up.
Youâve been pushing your food around your plate for a while now. Itâs mostly pieces of meat Yoongi placed down onto it for you, your favorite in fact. You just canât get yourself to even place anything into your mouth, anxiety squeezing your throat so tightly you can barely even swallow your own saliva.
Sunhee is laughing at something, her eyes bright and her large smile hidden away behind a polite hand. Yoongi is laughing too, maybe not as hard as her, but heâs still laughing. âWhy am I not the one making him laugh right now? Am I not funny anymore?â
As youâre glaring down at your food you feel a warm hand make contact with your shoulder. âYou wanna go home?â Yoongi asks quietly, tucking a stray piece of hair behind your ear. âYes please.â You breathe out, barely audible. On the drive home Yoongi tries asking whatâs wrong multiple times, but all he gets in response is a simple âI just donât feel too well.â

Itâs been a few days now since you had dinner with Yoongiâs coworkers. He realized something was wrong so heâs been giving you some space. To be quite honest you arenât sure if the space is helping or making it worse. After spending the whole day quietly sobbing to yourself in bed you decide to see what heâs up to. You find him sitting in the living room watching some sort of documentary and looking like heâs about to fall asleep. One of his cheeks is squished against a pillow and his hair is going on all the wrong directions. He looks adorable, your heart almost breaks in two knowing this is who youâve been pushing away lately.
Taking a seat next to him, he lifts up his blanket so you can use it too. Just as youâre getting sleepy as well his phone pings on the coffee table. Instinctively you reach down for it so you can hand it to him, but when you see the contact name annoyance squeezes at your chest.
Yang Sunhee
Sent a message
âWhy is she texting you?â The question slips from your mouth before you can even think it through. âI donât know, let me see.â He responds while extending his hand out for the phone. You peer over at the screen, shamelessly trying to see what she sent. âAh itâs just the schedule for next week.â He says and likes the message before setting his phone back down. Now you feel a bit guilty. Why were you questioning the intentions of this woman? Sheâs his employee after all.
Yoongiâs large hand comes up to cup your face, his thumb gently gliding over your cheekbone. âI know that look, whatâs wrong baby?â He asks, his dark eyes skimming your face in search for answers. âItâs nothing.â You respond a bit too quickly, your tone stiff. The corner of Yoongiâs lip quirks up. âYouâre jealous, arenât you?â
Your eyes shoot open, âN-no!â you sputter out a weak defense. His hand slides down to your chin, the grip tightening a bit. His smirk spreads into a smile which angers you. He thinks this is funny?
âDonât fucking touch me right now.â You say in a way harsher manner than you intended, tearing his hand away from your face. A flash of hurt runs over Yoongiâs face, his smile instantly falling. âDonât look at me like that! I just- I need a moment right now.â You say in an apologetic tone. âYou need a moment? Iâve been giving you a moment for days now. What about me? I keep trying so hard and you donât show an ounce of being grateful. Whatâs your problem?â His tone gets louder as he talks, anger evident in his facial expressions.
âProblem? Oh itâs a problem now that I canât always feel one hundred percent happy? Go sleep with some happy drugged out whore then if thatâs what you want!â Without realizing it your tone has risen to a yell, youâre standing now, no longer in the comfort of warm blankets on the couch. âDonât yell at me!â He yells back, tears beginning to brim his eyes.
âYouâre yelling too asshole! Oh youâre gonna cry? Go cry to Sunhee, maybe she can suck your dick to make it better if you canât go a week without me sucking it!â The moment you finish the last sentence a silence falls over the apartment. Yoongi stares at you wide eyed, unable to form a single sentence.
He looks like a kicked puppy, his eyes watery and his hands trembling. Realizing you went to far the only thing that pops up in your head is leaving the apartment for a bit. You speed walk to the front door, tugging your shoes on quickly and pulling a random jacket on. âHey, hey! Where are you going?â Yoongi follows you once he realizes what youâre doing. Unable to look at his face you grab your keys and walk out, slamming the door behind you.
Not knowing where to go you walk to the nearest park. Taking a seat on one of the benches you stare up at the moon. âWhy did I say that?â You mumble to yourself, tears stinging at your eyes. Your throat contracts, guilt choking you. Thereâs no holding back now, you let your sobs loose, tears running down your face uncontrollably.
â(Y/N)? Is that you?â A soft voice calls out to your right. Your head shoots up, trying to find the source of the sound. There stands Sunhee, she seems to be in her pajamas with a puffer jacket thrown on top. Her hair is a mess and sheâs holding a leash. A little white dog sniffs around near her legs, you assume itâs herâs.
âWhatâs wrong?â She asks as she sits down next to you. âAh donât worry about it.â You mumble, sniffling lightly. âYouâre so pretty (Y/N), I donât think Iâve ever seen someone look good while they cry before.â Sunhee says with a genuine smile. âI- uh what?â You tilt your head to the side in confusion. âIf I didnât have a girlfriend Iâd be jealous of Suga for having a girlfriend as pretty as you.â She giggles lightly.
âWHAT?â The question comes out harsher than you intend, the whole situation confusing you. âListen, if you ever leave Suga just give me a call.â She says with a playful wink. You laugh in disbelief, your tears completely gone now. âYouâre funny Sunhee.â You say, still sniffling lightly. âIâm not joking, but thank you.â She giggles along with you.
âNow why are you outside so late?â She asks while pulling her dog up into her lap. âI had a fight with Yoongi, I didnât really know where else to go. Iâm kind of scared to face him right now.â You answer truthfully. âGirl, have you seen how he looks at you? That man is a goner, Iâm sure whatever you argued about isnât that bad. You should go home and apologize, you can talk it through.â She says while giving you an encouraging smile. âYou think so?â You ask quietly. âI know so.â

Even with Sunheeâs encouragement youâre still unsure. Guilt wracks through your whole body, pressing down on your insides and making you nauseous. You try to be as quiet as possible when you enter the apartment, but the sound of the heavy front door closing and jingling of keys betrays you. Just as youâre taking your shoes off you hear shuffling down the hallway. Yoongiâs dark figure emerges, youâre ready to hear something nasty from him, but instead youâre met with two warm arms wrapped around you.
âThank god youâre safe.â He mumbles before kissing the top of your head. âIâm sorry Yoongi, Iâm so sorry baby. Please donât leave me. I didnât-â youâre cut off by a hiccup, your tears returning. âI didnât mean to say any of that. Please, please donât leave me Iâll never do that againâŠâ You sob into his chest. âShhhhh, I know you didnât mean it, I shouldâve done some things differently too.â His hand softly pets your head.
âIâve been trying to figure out why youâve been acting so weird lately and I think I get it now. You look at her like she killed your dog. You know sheâs a lesbian right?â You canât help but laugh a bit at that. âYeah I kind of found that out just now.â You mumble, your fingers tangling into the material of his shirt. âWhy donât you like her?â You can feel him softly smile against your hair as he asks the question.
âI donât know I just-â You try to form the right words, but they wonât come. âUgh! Sheâs just so pretty and sheâs really open, it feels like sheâs perfect and has everything you could need and Iâm just sort of me? I donât know, itâs stupid. Iâm just projecting.â Yoongi listens intently to everything you say while he takes your jacket off. âLately Iâve felt like the shell of who I was when you met me, you know? Iâm just sort of bleh- and every other woman around me seems to have her shit togehter.â A tear runs down your cheek and Yoongi chases it away with his thumb.
âItâs why Iâve been avoiding having sex lately. I just feel gross and ugly while you⊠you look like you were sculpted by the ancient Greeks. You need a Hera to your Zeus. Iâm like a satyr or something!â You let out a bitter laugh, trying to mask your feelings. âHmm I think weâre more like Orpheus and Eurydice. Except I donât want to lose you the way he lost her. They were such perfect lovers, yet there was something tragic about them. Whatâs love without tragedy?â He softly spoke, continuing to wipe your tears. You let out a genuine laugh and hit his chest lightly. âYou idiot! You donât get it.â
âI think I at least partially get it. I mean hell you make my knees weak whenever you look me in the eye woman, and weâve been dating for years! Iâd go to the pits of hell for you a million times more than Orpheus if it meant having a bit more time to spend with you. Thereâs no other person that could fulfill your role in my life as well as you do. I love you for you, youâre my muse. My light.â He places a ginger peck onto your forehead.
Love and desire suddenly flood through you, grabbing the collar of his shirt you pull him into a rough kiss. A few more tears make their way past your eyelids, but these ones of relief and joy rather than sadness and frustration. Yoongi gladly accepts your advances, kissing you back firmly. He barely wastes any time trying to get his tongue intertwined with yours. Your interwoven muscles becoming a metaphor for your souls combining together, the act of physical intimacy projecting your consciousness into one being, content and whole.
One of your hands shoot up to grip his hair a bit tighter than necessary which makes him release a deep moan. He pants against your lips, trying to catch his breath, but unable to fully separate your bodies. As he had endured yearning for you such a torturous amount, how could he let you go now?
He presses you flat against the door, holding you down chest to chest. His cold hands slide up your shirt, the contrast of temperature making you shiver. Caressing the skin of your stomach so lightly it tickles, he snakes one of his hands behind your back, swiftly unclipping your bralette in one movement. You let it drop to the floor, the only thing on your mind right now being the feeling of his body on yours. With his hands lightly ghosting over your breasts now, you shudder each time one of his fingers brushed against your nipples. Slowly he pulls your shirt off, the cold night air bites at your skin making your nipples harden. Instinctively your arms shoot up to cover yourself, but Yoongi stops you. He firmly grips your wrists and pins them down above your head.
Now fully exposed to him, he looks you in the eyes before licking a fat stripe from the area between your breasts to your neck. Lightly blowing onto the wet part of your skin, you take in a deep breath from the sensation. He begins to trail kisses down to your chest, letting go of your hands so he can bring you as close to him as possible. You tug at his hair softly as he mouthes at ode of your breasts, his tongue lightly teasing the soft bud. He groans softly before kissing down lower so he can get onto his knees.
He kneels before you know, unashamed of the submissive position heâs in. His teeth occasionally graze your stomach between sloppy open mouthed kisses. Looking up at you through his lashes, Yoongi starts undoing your pants. He pushes them down as if theyâre getting in the way and moves his kisses down to your thighs. His uncalculated mouth moves dangerously close to your clothed cunt. Hovering over it he purposefully breathes through his mouth so you can feel his warm breath on your skin. You gasp when he suddenly pressed his nose against your pussy and inhales deeply. You can peel the tips of your ears heating up from embarrassment, but Yoongi doesnât seem to care in the slightest.
âUgh, fuck how I missed this part of you.â He groans as he kisses over the thin fabric. Finding your clit almost immediately he starts to roll his tongue against it through your panties. Your arousal and his saliva mix together in the material causing an uncomfortable need for real contact.
âYoongi, take it off alreadyâŠâ you whisper to him, brushing his bangs out of his face. Looking up at you with a cheeky smirk he grabs onto the hem of your underwear with his teeth, making sure to lightly graze your sensitive skin with them as he pulls down. Your panties donât even have the chance to reach the floor and his mouth is already on you again. He runs his tongue through your folds, making you instinctively angle your hips to give him more access. Heedlessly circling your clit with his tongue, he occasionally sucks on it or flicks it. Youâre unsure if his mouth is glistening from his own saliva or from your wetness, but the sloppy noises heâs making are causing you to involuntarily buck your hips into his mouth.
âYouâre so beautiful like this, my sweet girl.â He mumbles as he pulls away, nuzzling his head into your thigh. Replacing his tongue with his fingers, you let out a quiet moan when he slips them inside of you. âI love having you like this, only for me to see. You know Iâd never do this for anyone else, right?â He emphasizes the question by pressing his fingers down against your sweet spot. ïżŒâShit, Yoongi. I love you so much, no one makes me cum like you do.â Your response comes out in a dragged out whine.
Satisfied with your reply his mouth returns to your clit while his fingers work you open. The combination of sensations makes an orgasm built up in your abdomen fast. âYoon- Yoongi, Iâm gonna ah- Iâm gonna cum!â You moan out, trying to warn him. This only encourages him to go faster as an orgasm ripples through you in harsh waves, your head falling back against the door as your eyes roll into the back of your head. You spasm slightly as he continues to work your cunt, trying to pull him away so he doesnât overstimulate you.
He licks off your juices from his fingers, wiping his lips with the back of his hand. As soon as heâs back on his feet you go in for a kiss, leaning on him for support while still coming down from your high. He refuses to let your lips part as he leads you to the bedroom, his shirt and pants getting lost along the way.
âLay down baby.â He mumbled against your lips as he led you to the bed. Kneeling down between your legs he made sure you were comfortable on your pillow. No matter how basic, missionary was always the best when you needed to express your love sexually. Parting your lips he pulls you down a little so your thighs are pressed together. He grabs his erect cock out of his underwear, not even bothering to get rid of the boxers. Pumping it a few times he gives you a dopey look, a lazy smirk spreading on his face.
âYou ready?â He rasps out, rubbing the tip of his cock against your swollen clit, mixing his precum together with the aftermath of your previous orgasm. âA little too ready.â You replied, running a hand through your hair. âMmm I can tell.â He teases while spreading the natural lubricant over his cock. Slowly he pressed the tip in, âFuck, itâs going in so easily, o barely had to prep you. You really want it, donât you?â his brows crease together in pleasure as he slowly bottoms out. âYes, fuck Yoongi I want your cock so bad.â Your hand shoots up to grab onto his shoulder, biting your lip at the fullness.
âPlease, (Y/N). Can I move?â He murmured, holding onto your hips tightly. âYes, fuck me Yoongi.â You replied, grabbing his face to place a wet kiss onto his lips. He let out a low moan as he started thrusting into you, the warmth and wetness of your cunt feeling better each time he fucked it. You lightly squeezed your walls on purpose knowing it drives him crazy. âOh my- ah shit I wonât last long at all if you do that.â He said breathily, his hips jerking forward involuntarily. You hooked one of your legs onto his hips, pulling him forward so heâs pressed into your cunt as deeply as possible. The both of you groaned at that, as soon as you let go he started thrusting into you with a quicker pace. His movements rapidly increased with each slap of skin that echoed throughout the space, his head thrown back. That look on his face means heâs absolutely lost in please and that makes you proud. He molds so perfectly inside you it makes all of your doubts melt away, itâs like he was made for you.
Matching the pace of his thrust to his fingers flicking your clit, Yoongi can swear he can feel you pulsating around him. âAh, fuck (Y/N) I think Iâm gonna cum already. Shit Iâm sorry it just feels too good.â He groans, the already pink tips of his ears darkening. âItâs okay, go ahead baby, cum inside me.â You breathily respond, continuing to moan with each of his thrusts. He speeds up before abruptly stopping, the feeling of his warm seed filling you up making you clench around his cock. âWait, shit, shit run my pussy please Iâm so close too.â His fingers immediately speed up on your clit, furiously flicking it as your abdomen tightens again. As the hot white pleasure rips through your whole body, making your muscles spasm you hear a wet noise. Looking down the moment you can open your eyes you see Yoongiâs lower stomach covered in a clear liquid.
âDid you just make me squirt?â You laugh in disbelief. âThatâs a first.â He mumbles before pulling his cock out, various liquids gliding down your ass. âIâll go get a towel. He quickly gets up, trying his best not to make any of his surroundings wet.
As the two of you are laying in bed, your warm baked bodies pressed together, you feel Yoongiâs chest vibrate as he speaks up. âFrom now on, you always have to tell me when somethingâs bothering you, okay?â He softly says, stroking your hair. âOkay.â You whisper back. âPromise?â He questions while raising his pinky finger up, you lock yours with his, pressing your thumbs together. âPromise.â
#bts fanfic#bts fluff#bts x reader#bts x fem!reader#yoongi x reader#yoongi x y/n#yoongi x you#bts x you#bts smut#bts angst#suga x reader#suga x y/n#suga x you#min yoongi x reader#min yoongi x you#min yoongi x y/n#bts x y/n#bts x female reader
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Fated Hearts Start With Fire
PT2 - Unforeseen Harmony

masterslist
PART 1 // PART 3 // PART 4 // PART 5 // PART 6 // PART 7
Moving to a new city is tough, but itâs even harder when your roommate is a dick.
Summery - After moving in you find yourself distracted on why your roommate has this very prominent dislike when it comes to you?
Warnings -> Same mean Ellie / Reader is also rude / Alcohol usage / Mentions of previous relationships / Girl flirts with reader 𫣠/ Jealousy (if u squint idk) / Slow burn!! / Toxic relationship /kissing / Smut in future chapters! / (Lmk if I missed anything else!)
WC : 4.4k
(Not proofread)
DAILY CLICK đ”đž - (takes a few seconds!)
Fuck.
To say living with Ellie is âHellâ, that would be an understatement!
The whole interaction with her the day after she came home completely plastered, the one where she said you looked âshittyâ, that was about 3 and a half weeks ago.
You didnât even understand what the actual fuck was wrong with her! And sure that seems mean, you knew how it sounded! But sheâs probably the most unreasonable person youâve ever met.
Sheâd get pissed if you got up to early for your classes because the moving of you just simply walking âWoke her up!â
She constantly takes your food, drinks, snacks, whatever. Basically everything that was in the fridge, and purchased by you, also now happened to be hers!
And every time you brought up how it was rude or disrespectful sheâd shut it down! Saying something along the lines of âWell I lived here first!â
Living in a place that was completely foreign to you, and having the worst possible fucking roommate unsurprisingly didnât mix well!
It also didnât help you had a grand total of 0 friends. You were shit at small talk and conversations, that was nothing new.
But then again you also knew staying in your shared apartment with Ellie. That wasnât something you could deal with much longer, you just had to suck it up and talk to literally anyone except for fucking her.
So thatâs what you did.
Walking to class was alright, the cold air hitting the back of your neck was extremely apparent but you sucked it up.
The sun was still struggling to make it past the clouds but to be fair it was the least of your concerns, because as of now you were making some genius plan to make some friends..!
You had Jess and Alex who are great. You wouldnât trade them for the world. But even they knew you had to get out there more.
At least thatâs what theyâve been texting you all morning. Stuff along the lines of âYou got this!â and âJust try not to panicâ
So you kept that plastered in the front of your mind as you continued to walk down the campus trail, there was music blasting in your ears, trying to come up with conversation starters till there was a slight tap on your shoulder.
A girl, she was taller then you, had brunette hair, blue eyes, and a tiny smile on her face.
Her hand slightly moves signalling you to basically take out your headphones which you complied. You assumed it was already weird that you were staring at her for at least 5 seconds.
She spoke softly. âHi..!â You just give her a smile back, thinking something along the lines of âWho the fuck is this??â.
âH-Hi?â You stuttered out a confused tone leaking which she clearly picked up on because she followed by saying. âIâm super fucking lost right now and you seemed approachable!â She chuckles letting out a quick âIâm a transfer student, and my class is 182..? Do you mind?â She holds out her map which shows the campus.
This leads you to quickly smile back. âShit, Iâm 182 as well. I can just walk you if you want?â
This has her immediately nod and you see the relief all over her face. âFuck, thank you. I have no clue how to read paper mapsâ
âNo?â You smile at her words and she follows up by shaking her head.
âNever thought Iâd be in this situation, so no!â She smiles at you, causing you go stumble over your words.
âI-I uh didnât get your name?â You choke out.
âFuck right! Mia, sorry!â Mia smiles holding out her hand to shake.
You hold out your hand and shake it back. Quickly telling her your name.
àŒ»âĄïžàŒș
You learned that apparently during Miaâs transfer, the papers got all mixed up, which is now leading her 3 weeks after the term had started.
You and her quickly found yourselves sat beside each other during the whole lecture. (Which you hardly followed since you guys were talking a shit ton.)
And by the time it finished she didnât hesitate to get your number, she was definitely way more bold then you..
You couldnât tell if Mia was being simply platonic or if maybe she was trying to flirt?
You were sorta bad at signals and so when she asked you to do homework today, specifically together, quickly calling it a âDate!â you decided to deem it as non-platonic.
So here you are now walking back to your apartment shoulder to shoulder, talking about school, friends, where you both grew up, shit like that. Really just getting to know each other during the walk
It didnât take long till you reached your apartment fumbling over the key hole as you unlocked it giving Mia a clear view of the auburn sat on your couch.
When Mia sees Ellie sat on the couch she quickly talks âOh is she your?-â
You assumed Mia was going to finish off the sentence with âgirlfriendâ which had you almost shout out a quick no, because Ellie. Gross.
But! You decided as a calmer approach âNo!- No weâre roommates! I- It was like an ad and shit so..â
Mia then smiles and nods looking straight at your. âOkay cool!â
Did Mia care if you had girlfriend??
But before you could even fucking talk, Ellie turns around, this makes you assume she was probably going to the kitchen, but as soon as her green eyes hit Miaâs then yours she just sorta stops. Spitting out a harsh.
âPeople are desperate now!â Ellie chuckles continuing to pick up where she left off and walking to the kitchen. Grabbing a few snacks.
Your eyes land on the side profile of Miaâs, her eyebrows are furrowed, she knew the comment was directed towards you. Because Ellieâs eyes stayed on you when she said it.
Mia was about to say something but you quickly grab her hand intertwining your fingers with hers.
Youâve never had a girlfriend. You didnât know if this was normal to even do considering you and Mia were probably the furthest from dating, but you just wanted to draw her attention off of someone like Ellie.
You got the impression Ellie wouldnât turn down a fight, which see showed with you, and those just all happened to be verbal.
You didnât exactly want to see what the fuck would happen if Ellie got into a physical fight. Especially not with a girl which is showing at least some interest in you?
Miaâs eyebrows drop, no longer furrowed, and you see a pink rise to her cheeks.
You clear your throat, because now youâre nervous having you hand intertwined with Miaâs. So you quickly disconnect the both of your hands before talking to her..
âWe can uh-my room is just over herâ You point and quickly lead Mia to your room avoiding Ellieâs gaze purposefully.
You open your bedroom door, you and Mia instantly stepping into your now properly decorated bedroom.
Having a bed which you lacked just 3 weeks ago.
Mia finds herself on your bed dropping her bag on the side of the frame. She scoots back pushing her back against the headboard.
She quickly started up conversations which you grazed over considering you now have a fucking person in your room. On your bed!
âYour roomâs prettyâ Mia smiles
âT-thank you!â You smile looking at her finally being able to bare proper eye contact âIf you came her 3 weeks ago we would have been on the floorâ
Mia laughs and letâs out a âWhy??â
âI had no fucking bed! Since I travelled so far, they were losers and didnât want me bringing my queen bed on the plane?â You chuckle obviously joking which prompts a laugh from Mia.
âSeems lameâ Mia smiles and you finally sit beside her on the bed.
âSuper lameeeeâ You drag out your âeâ which now left you feeling super fucking lame, it made you cringe at yourself which you tried to laugh off.
Mia smiles and chuckles, grabbing her laptop which she conveniently already took out of her bag. âI donât wanna do all this fucking workâ Mia looks at you having the blood rush straight up to your cheeks.
âY-yeah no me neither, I already have like 3 things I gotta work on.â You chuckle looking back at her.
Mia had almost 0 problem having her eyes glance down to your lips. Yet you fucking did.
I mean sure you obviously wanted her to kiss you but you had no fucking knowledge on what to do? But before you could even think about it, Miaâs lips find themselves right on yours holding your cheek softly.
You immediately respond kissing her back having your eyes roll to the back of your head.
You were really just hoping your doing it right, but considering sheâs not pulling back, you sorta come to the consensus itâs good enough!
You felt Miaâs tongue invite itself inside your mouth, her kisses now leaving and moving to your jaw and neck.
ïżŒTo say you were now just a bit nervous would be an understatement!
You obviously fucking liked Mia? Youâd be dumb to not? But to be fair you didnât even fucking know her middle name? Or really to much shit about her.
You didnât know what this was? Like what if she just wants to hook up or something..! You obviously didnât want that??
And she had to feel something was off because she pulls back her eyes now falling onto your face studying your face trying to read it. Quickly noticing how your eyes are planted on the ceiling.
âYou okay..?â Mia ask having her hands drop from the back of your neck to your arms.
You didnât even notice her lips where off your neck and jaw since you were doing your best to just disassociate.
âHey..â Mia sits more up now her eyes meeting yours.
âW-what?â You stutter quickly swallowing the lump in your throat.
âYou okay?â Mia says her eyes not leaving your face making sure she didnât make you uncomfortable and accidentally do something wrong.
âFuck- was I reading it wrong??â Mia ask, now starting to panic thinking she just kissed a straight girl or something?
âN-no! No! Fuck- no iâm sorry I just, I- I havenât done this.??â You say spitting out not wanting Mia to leave or something.
âLike what? Shit with a girlâ Mia says.
âAt all.â You say really trying to have this justify and explain to her why the fuck you were practically tweaking out just from getting kissed.
âO-oh?â Mia says it surprised, now slowly fixing your shirt feeling bad. âFuck iâm sorryâ
Mia looks at you âI-if I knew I wouldnât have like gone so fuckingâ Mia tryâs to explain with her hands which failed causing you both to laugh.
âI-no your good. I just like- maybe slower.â you say looking at Mia thinking sheâs gonna laugh. Not a lot of people go âslowâ now, and you knew that.
âSlowwwwâ Mia smiles dragging out her words before softly kissing you again now not doing anything crazy like tongue, literally just kissing you.
àŒ»âĄïžàŒș
That was a crazy as it got. Literally just kissing which you appreciated. It also didnât take long before the sky turned dark and Mia had to leave, you walked her out, kissed before she left and everything felt insanely intimate.
But just like in Ellie fashion she always had a whole lot to say. You hardly noticed her before she talked.
âI meant what I said by the way! Didnât realize people were so fucking desperateâ Ellie slightly laughs her hair falling over her face which she promptly moves.
You just look at her. âThe fuck is your issue Ellie.â You say trying to shrug off her comments but it just doesnât work.
âI donât have a fucking issue, just think anyone would have to be insanely fucking desperate to go out with you, thatâs all?â Her stupid fucking laugh echos your shared apartment.
âYou always have a lot to say.â And you donât even know what made you say the next sentence considering you knew hardly nothing about the situation. You had a lead, an idea of what it was so you took it.
âWhat happened with Cat Ellie? Dina and Jesse brought it up, fuck did she leave because of how fucking annoying you are or?â
It didnât take long till her face dropped the smug smirk no longer planted on her face.
Guilt stuck you hard. Sure you didnât like Ellie but the fact her eyes are glazing over, just from one fucking sentence means you probably crossed a line.
I mean was it fair she could say all this shit about you with nothing in return. Obviously no?
But then again you didnât know what actually happened with this Cat? You knew it was some sorta âsituationâ at least thatâs how Jesse worded it a few weeks ago. But then again it wasnât your place to bring it up.
âFuck you.â Ellieâs voice chokes up for the first time in god knows how long. She turns around. So clearly the Cat thing is personal! You quickly thought to yourself!
âEllie..â You follow and she turns around and pushes you, which almost has you fall straight back.
âFuck off!â Ellie says her voice now stern, fist clenching at her sides.
There was no doubt she was probably going to punch you, but luckily there was a knock on your guys door.ïżŒ
âEllie let us innnnn!â Dinaâs cheerful voice comes through the door.
Almost immediately Ellie walks over shoving you, in the process her shoulder comes slamming against yours which almost causes you to fall back.
You hear the door open and a pair of footsteps enter. Ellie doesnât even bother to great them.
âOkayy? Rudeâ Dina chuckles thinking itâs just Ellie being Ellie.
But when Ellie also glances past her and sits on the couch. Dina starts to get a weird vibe.
Dina slowly turns her body towards you âHey!â
You donât even know what to reply with. You just let out a slight âHi.â
Dina tilts her head, her eyes glancing from you back to Ellie. Both of your eyes seem heavy. Jesse quickly puts down alcohol and snacks on the kitchen counter.
Quickly Finding himself beside Ellie on the couch which she quickly shoves over to the furthest cushion, being the possible furthest away from him. Hardly matters though because she stands up. âThe fuck?â
He mutters looking at Ellieâs body slowly leaving, trailing to her room.
âWhat happenedâ Dina says both her eyes flat on you.
âI-I brought up Cat.â You mutter out.
Just by the fact Dinaâs eyes trail straight to Jesse and Jesse immediately stands up walking down the hall âImma check on herâ
Dina nods and looks back at you once again. âWhatâd you sayâŠ?â Dinaâs tone is stern, her cheerful tone now lacking. Sheâs literally just trying to figure out what happened.
âI-I just, she was being m-mean to mi-mia and me-â You try and spit out but Dina cuts you off clearly not trying to hear about someone she literally doesnât know.
âJust what did you say!â Dina says fully over the rambling, she knows whatever the fuck you said must be bad because Jesse is still trying to get into Ellieâs room.
âI-I just said something like âdid Cat leave you because youâre annoyingâ! I didnât- I didnât except shit. Like I didnât except it to actually strike a nerve??â You quickly say looking down embarrassed of your words. âI brought yours and Jesses name up accidentally, I swear!â You quickly add.
âShit..â Dina sighs rubbing her hand down her face letting out a groan. You donât know the story and Dinaâs trying to remember that.
Dina was about to talk more but you quickly cut her off. âI swear I didnât- I didnât except her to freak?â
Dina shakes her head. âYou donât know the story. Okay.â
You donât even know why you care. I mean Ellieâs a dick, sheâs been for the past 3 weeks. But you never wanted to actually hurt her? You wouldnât consider yourself âmeanâ. But as much as you convince yourself you no longer seems if you care you just spit out.
âI- then tell me..the story?â You say.
2 months earlier.
(Ellie)
âEllieâ Dina says laying on Ellieâs bed looking at her.
Ellieâs spacing out looking at her celling.
âEl!â Dina says a bit louder sitting up waving her hand over Ellieâs face having Ellie quickly snap out of it.
âFuck yeahâ Ellie says her voice cracking trying to form a smile which feels all to fucking forced..
âWe should go out tonight. You know get out of the apartment that has Cat in it.â Dina says looking at Ellieâs facial expression. The idea seems uncomfortable. Going out without Cat at this point felt foreign...just weirdâŠ
âI donât know.â Ellie fiddles with her hands instead of facing Dinaâs brown eyes which feel like theyâre piercing into her thoughts right now.
âItâs a break. I mean I could invite her?â Ellie suggest looking at Dina almost like she wants approval.
Dina knows the idea probably isnât smart but she sorta shrugs. After all itâs just a break. Not a breakup.
âYeah! I can bring Jesse tooâ Dina smiles suggesting looking at Ellie.
Ellieâs eyes finally light up like they used to.
âIâll ask then!â Ellie quickly stands up smiling at Dina before leaving her bedroom which just a few nights ago, had Cat still sleeping in it.
âââââââââ
The argument between Cat and Ellie was stupid. Ellie and Cat wanted to go do something special for their 1st year anniversary. They had an idea to go somewhere special, like a foreign country or something. Just to get out, spend quality time. Shit like that.
Then the first problem came. Ellie and Cat had two very fucking different budgets. Ellie has lived in New York for a bit and had a stable job.
A type of job she could live off of.
Then Cat. Cat definitely had a better job, she wasnât shy to bring it up either, quickly pointing out all the places Ellie could realistically afford were âshittyâ and âgrossâ instantly forming a fight.
âWhy do you act like iâm not trying?â Ellie says looking at Cat tears already brewing on her lower eyelid..
âIâm not acting like anything Ellie?â Cat says scoffing sarcastically. Almost like sheâs blaming Ellie. âI just think your job clearly isnât paying enough.â
âDoesnât it matter weâre going together?â Ellie says looking at back at Cat now standing up.
Cat follows up by standing in front of Ellie. âEllie donât pull that shit!â Cats tone is getting louder and she shakes her head fast.
âIâm not pulling anything! Youâre acting like me not being able to afford places that are 700+ dollars is like iâm purposefully doing this!â Ellieâs tone is also getting but it has more cracks rather then Cats.
âOkay Ellie.â Cat says sarcastically just rolling her eyes, grabbing her bag.
Ellies eyes are shifting from Cats hands, to the clothes sheâs grabbing, and back to the bag. âW-where are you going?â
Cat sighs and shakes her head. âI just want space. Iâm gonna stay at a friends tonight.â
Ellies almost baffled. Confusion is flowing all throughout her brain. âWhy?â Ellies eyes again are glossy. âthis isnât a breakup, this isnât a breakup, this isnât a breakup.â
âWe clearly fucking need a break Ellie!â Cats words echo throughout Ellies brain..
âW-â But before Ellie could even finish her sentence a slam of the front door rings Ellieâs ears and sheâs now left alone in their shared bedroom.
âââââââââ
Even though Dina thought it was stupid Ellie was shoulder to shoulder with Cat as they stand outside in the alley, which the club is left of.
Ellieâs eyes are the brightest theyâve been since that day. So even if Dina thinks Ellie even talking to Cat after the fight was dumb, if Ellieâs happy. Thatâs what matters.
The reason they were all outside the alleyway of the club is because Jesse is the only 21 year old in their whole group so he had let them all in through the back.
And as soon as the door opened and the music poured out Dina, Ellie, and Cat all entered.
It really didnât take long till they were all drunk, they easily got served so they got loaded up fast with shots, the whole group downing them in mere minutes.
Ellie was enjoying her night, at the end of the day she was with Cat?
The girl she loved no matter what..
âIâm gonna go get us drinks!â Cat says talking into Ellieâs ear so she can hear over the loud music.
Ellie quickly gives Cat and thumbs up and a slight smile. âOkay!â
10 minutes go by, still no cat.
itâs been 10 minutes since Cats been gone, Ellie now just wants to make sure Cats okay? It shouldnât take that long yet it was?
Ellie quickly taps Dinaâs shoulder as she dances with Jesse. And leans into her ear âIâm gonna go find Cat! Sheâs been gone a bit!â Ellie says and Dina nods responding with a quick.
âWant me to come?â Dina smiles looking at Ellie.
Ellie shakes her head and smiles point at Jesse. âNah! Enjoy dancing!â
Dina chuckle and nods watching as Ellie disappears in the crowd.
Ellie is pushing through a few bodies not seeing anyone who represents Cat getting drinks. Her eyes are scanning all over debating whether or not she should check inside the washrooms?
Until she sees Cats head in the middle of the dance floor. âCat!â Ellie yells smiling until she sees it. Her voice falls short and her smile fades.
Cats kissing another girl.
Ellieâs whole face turns pale and she gets hit with a wave a nausea that hits her like a brick.
Everything goes in a fucking blur. Ellieâs shoving through a shit ton of bodies. Tears streaming.
The scene is..ugly..
But sheâs been dating Cat for almost a year. All of it, itâs down the drain in the matter of seconds. Ellieâs hands are shaking as she pushes the alleyway door open quickly trying to calm the fuck down.
Ellie sits down on the ground her chest falling up and down as her vision blurs. Black spots are appearing in her eyes and she feels like she can hardly breath.
It doesnât take long till she can hear Dinaâs muffled voice. âJesse! Sheâs out here!â Dina says crouching down rubbing Ellieâs back.
Ellie assumes she hit Dina on the way out since she was so fast to find her. Ellieâs having a full blown panic attack and itâs not going away.
Jesse also crouches down beside Dina, reaching his arm on Ellieâs shoulder asking Dina if she saw what even happened.
Dina continues telling Ellie to breath. She softly rest Ellieâs hand above her chest to follow her own breathing pattern. âEllie inâŠand outâ
Dina looks at Jesse. âWanna get her some water.â
Jesse quickly nods running over to the convenience store which is across the street.
As soon as Jesses leaves, Dina looks at Ellie. âEllie what happened.â
The sparkle which was in Ellieâs eyes during the beginning of the night is now gone. And she just shakes her head. âCat kissed some girl. I saw her while-while it was happening.â
Ellie tryâs to clear her throat, a cover to stop the tears that are threatening to spill from her eyes again.
After that night Ellie didnât want to feel.
So she made the decision she was done with trying to feel.
Present
(You)
âFuck.â You sigh now realizing how much you fucked up. You brought up a situation you knew literally nothing about and probably just gave Ellie new fresh wounds which were probably just healing. âI thought the girl who moved out went back to her hometown or something, It was Cat though..?â
âShe probably didnât feel like explaining itïżœïżœ Dina letâs out a dry chuckle which is to cover how fucked the whole situation is.
âListen itâs not your fault.â Dina sighs shaking her head.
âYou didnât know?â Dina tilts her head her eyes finally meeting yours.. âTrust me I know Ellie can be a dick.â Dina says rubbing your shoulder, she doesnât want you to feel guilty.
âGive her time to ease upâ Dina nods trying to reassure you her behaviour will be better.
âIâve gave her 3 fucking weeks?â You say. Almost all your sympathy leaving your body once again. Sure you wanted to feel bad for Ellie? But sheâs mean all the fucking time.
What happened to her unfortunately doesnât excuse that.
âI feel bad, a-and I get what happened to her isnât fair. I know it wasnât right for me to say what I did, but itâs also not fair for her to take it out on me Dina.â You say looking at Dina and Dinaâs head drops.
âIâve been friends with Ellie since freshman year. I swear to you sheâs only ever fucking been like this these last 2 months.â Dina says, itâs like sheâs trying to convince you that Ellieâs not a complete dick. Which youâre finding hard to believe.
Just as you were about to speak. Ellie walks out of her bedroom with Jesse. She looks straight at Dina then you, for the first time in fucking weeks Ellie doesnât go straight to insulting you.
You can tell by the fact her eyes are now red sheâs obviously been crying. Youâve never seen vulnerable before. Never with red eyes, her nose still sniffling, the outer area of her eyes still wet, you havenât ever seen Ellie like this..
You didnât say anything considering you couldnât help but feel a twinge of guilt since you were 100% the cause to her crying.
Your eyes follow Dina as you see her step forward and just hug Ellie. Ellie doesnât push back or refuse. She just wraps her arms back around Dina.
Ellieâs face goes in Dinaâs neck and itâs like a different version of Ellie.
Not like the version youâve constantly been seeing.
Youâve seen Ellie like this before, it was when she was sleeping on the couch after coming home drunk with Dina and Jesse..
A version of her which was calm and real. Not someone behind a dark, mad, rude, persona. Probably the Ellie before Cat decided to fuck her up.
The Ellie which felt.
A/N -> Part 2 is here!!
I really hope you enjoyed reading this chapter, because I did actually enjoy writing this! I already have a full plot lay out for the 3 part so expect that maybe next week. (donât hold me to that đ)
Iâm gonna shift from a bit of the angst because I feel like iâm sorta shit at writing it, idkkkk!
Iâm still super busy with school but so far my work load has been going down a bit, so I plan to work on obviously my other fics while still prioritizing this one! (Because I plan 5-6 parts)
Thatâs all! Ty again for reading likes and reblogs are really appreciated! đ«¶đœ
Taglist - @a-little-bit-of-everybody @bready101 @shiimer @boobdrug @amberputh
#ellie the last of us#ellie williams#ellie williams x reader#ellie x reader#lgbtq#loser!ellie#the last of us#the last of us two#ellie x y/n#ellie x you#mean ellie#elliewilliams#ellie#ellie smut#ellie williams smut#ellie tlou#loser ellie#wlw#wlw post#lesbian#slutt4ellie#queer#wlw love
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Hello! Iâm the same anon that requested the Lee Know fic you ended up writing. I wanted to request something else!
Today is my birthday, March 27th, so can I maybe ask for a birthday smut with Felix?
(It doesnât matter when I get it! You can take your time.)
im happy youâre requesting something else<33 happy late birthday ml!!!! đ i wrote this with all the love and care u deserve!!! i hope u had a great birthday and i hope you enjoy this đđ
âËâč⥠sweet birthday âËâčâĄ
⏠lee felix



ê§ pairing- nonidol!felix x fem!reader, softdom!felix x sub!reader, established relationship, theyâre in love bleh bleh<3
ê§ warnings- pussydrunk felix<3, dirty talk, oral sex (f receiving), cum eating, cringe love, multiple sex scenes(just 2), kissing, lingerie(idk if i should warn this but im doing it anyways), seungmin and changbin mentioned, lmk what i missed????
ê§ a/n- i loved writing this<3 i feel like felix is such a cutie and i miss him now enjoy this :(
your birthday was felixâs favorite because it just give him more of an excuse to touch you. or so he says. waking you up with soft kisses against your temple.
you shifting slightly in your sleep, hearing your boyfriendâs soft morning voice. âiâm sorry angel- didnât mean to wake you up. happy birthday my love.â he says rubbing your hair back.
âitâs ok lix. thank you i love you.â heâs pulling you to cuddle against his chest as he plants a kiss against your head. âcan i give you, your first present of the day?â he says with an innocent smile across his lips.
âmm and what would that be lix?â he moves from beside you to between your legs. âthis okay my love?â he asks looking up at you from between your legs. felix tended to eat you out every morning like itâs his routine. of course heâs going to on your birthday.
him claiming âyou have to have the sweetest birthday right?â you love how much he loves and appreciates your body. he wants you to feel good and beautiful all the time.
âyeah lix- i want you.â he leans up again to kiss your lips one last time before dipping back down between your legs. âyouâre so beautiful.â he kisses down your legs before changing his direction back up them.
he slowly makes his way towards your panties, helping you out of them. âmy perfect birthday girl. look at you, so pretty for me.â he starts kissing against your thighs softly.
âlix please- hurry.â you almost cut yourself off. your boyfriend looks so pretty. his tired eyes and messy hair. his loose t-shirt against his perfect chest.
you could never get bored of looking at your boyfriend. he licks against your thigh looking up at you as he licks against your slit.
him humming at the taste, diving into your pussy for more. he looks up at you as he watches you get lost in the feeling. he sucks on your clit hard as he pushes one finger inside you.
âlix- fuck feels so good.â you start to grind against his finger as you look down at him. felix is humping your bed as he sucks you harder.
you feel him push a second finger inside you, curling it as he takes his mouth away from you. âtaste so good- im gonna cum angel.â he starts to grind harder against the bed as licks up and down your slit.
âme too lix- fuck please donât stop.â he just watches you as your legs start to shake at the thrusts and curling of his finger.
his groaning going through your pussy as he sloppily licks at your cunt. you watch as his hips start to quicken and his groans get louder.
you fall apart on his tongue as you watch cum. you coming shortly after him. âlix- fuck-â you look down at your boyfriend with blissful face, watching in shock as he pulls his fingers out of you.
he brings the up to his mouth sucking on them momentarily. pulling them out of his mouth so he can eat your cum out of you.
he sloppily licks against you again as moans into your clit. he pulls away after a couple more licks, pulling himself up to kiss your lips. after making out with you for a couple minutes your phone ringing startles him, pulling him away.
he leans over you to grab it with a annoyed look on his face. you laugh subconsciously at that. âitâs kim seungmin.â he groans again answering the call.
âwhat?â he says to the boy. felix puts the phone speaker. âwhat? donât what me. me and changbin are fucking here. for the birthday breakfast? that youâre hosting asshole. happy birthday by the way y/n.â you smile at his words.
âthank you seungmin. very sweet of you.â your boyfriend curses at the boys words. âshit itâs already 11:30? all right come up.â your boyfriend says quickly hanging up. he gets up running to your closet.
âlix why are you running?â you roll your eyes playfully at your cute boyfriend. âbecause i fucking came in my pants and our friends are here.â you just laugh grabbing your underwear and pajama pants.
ââÂ·Ë àŒ *
felix loved spending your birthday with you. he had roses for you after your breakfast. a beautiful bouquet delivered with your favorite flowers.
him of course, saying he had another surprise for you. you seated on your bed as your boyfriend grabs your gift from under the bed.
âi got this because i think youâll look beautiful in it. but no pressure if you donât like it or anything!â he says with a smile as he hands you the box.
âi will love it lix.â you smile before opening the box pulling out a sage green floral lingerie. âi love it- oh my gosh it is so beautiful.â you say excitedly as he leans down to peck your lips.
âiâm so happy you like it- do you want to put it on? so i can give you your final present.â he grabs your hand rubbing it gently. âyes iâll put it on- how many presents do you have?â you say with a laugh.
âas many as you want angel.â he smiles as he watches you grab the gift and walk away to the bathroom. âi gotta surprise you.â you say with a smirk as you make your way into the bathroom.
leaving your boyfriend to smirk to himself. you quickly change into the lingerie, taking a quick look at yourself. you love the way it hugs your body perfectly. you smile to yourself making your way back into your bedroom with felix.
âwow- you absolutely stunning my love.â your boyfriendâs hands reaching for you, pulling you into him by your waist.
âitâs so pretty lix. itâs fits perfect i love it! thank you love.â you smile at him. âyea? iâm happy you love it. you look better than i couldâve possibly ever imagined. youâre so beautiful angel.â he plants a couple of kisses against your neck.
âyouâre too sweet lix.â you melt into his touch until he suddenly pulls away. he moves your gift box out of the way, laying you back against the bed.
âyou deserve everything sweet. youâre the sweetest ever to me.â he kisses your neck some more sucking against it harshly. âlix please- fuck me i need you.â you start to grind your hips up against his causing him to let a moan slip.
âshit you sure angel? i wonât hurt you?â he says rubbing softly against your arm. you nod your head quickly. âi need you please. you wonât hurt me.â he nods kissing your head. he starts to unbuckle his belt on his jeans.
you watch as you slide the panties of the lingerie down. your blood is racing with anticipation as you watch your boyfriend pull his cock out. you moan at the sight.
âfuck- you look so gorgeous come here.â he pulls you closer to him as he kisses you. the kiss is desperate but gentle. you gasp as you feel his tip start to rub against your cunt.
âlix- donât tease! n-need you so bad.â you practically cry out for him. he brings you into a gentle kiss as he pushes inside of you. he softly kisses you as he bottoms out, before he pulls out.
âyou okay?â he looks at you with a soft loving look. you nod as you watch him pull his shirt over his head. he groans at how perfect breasts look in the lingerie. âyou can move.â he nods before moving his hips softly.
âf-fuck lix- i might cum already.â your eyes shut tight as your boyfriend rocks his hips against yours. âyea? my pretty girl. you look f-fuck- so pretty when you cum.â his eyes are on your cunt, your arousal dripping down your thighs.
âi love you- fuck so much.â his hips speed up as he pulls you into a sloppy kiss. your kiss back as you moan into it. âlix iâm gonn- mmm-â your moan cuts you off as felix rolls his hips into you, the angle hitting deeper.
âiâm gonna cum angel- where do you want it?â he asks as he tries to stop his hips from stuttering. âi-inside lix.â you moan out as his hips speed up again. âf-fuck okay.â he puts his head against yours as he rubs your clit.
âyouâre so pretty- fuck.â his hips stutter a couple times before his load is filling you. âs-shit.â his warm cum sending over the edge. the feeling overwhelming you in the best way.
âlix- o-oh fuck fuck-â he fucks you slowly through your high as you come back to reality. âhappy birthday angel.â he says before pulling you into a loving kiss.
#felix smut#stray kids felix#lee felix#felix x reader#felix#skz felix#skz smut#skz#skz x reader#skz fluff#skz fanfic#skz imagines#skz scenarios#stray kids fic#stray kids smut#stray kids
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Sweet lies part two
Pairing âąToji x gn!reader
Warningsâą Angst!, Cheating, suggestive (they like lowkey make out), manipulation, UNHEALTHY RELATIONSHIP!, Cursing. Lmk if i forgot any!
Word count âą 1079 words
A/n âą I had this pre written ever since i put out the first part but was so hesitant on posting it LMAO! Enjoy! Masterlist is pinned!
You knew life after the honeymoon phase was rough but nothing couldâve prepared you for the drastic switch in you and Tojiâs relationship. About two months the after you guys got married is when you realized the mistake you made. Your days went from him coming home from work and showering you with affection to him coming in with an inaudible hello. You were confused on what you could be doing wrong. He was coming home to a clean house with food on the table, a bath prepared and you all dolled up for him, just how he liked it. This went on for months and throughout those months heâs just been coming home later and later. The man who was once coming home every day at five now walking through the front door as late as ten at night. It didnât bother you until your 26th birthday.
You woke up excited to celebrate your first birthday as a married woman. For your birthday last year Toji went all out so you couldnât help but let your expectations be high! Toji wasnât there when you woke up, which was normal because he usually leaves extremely early in the morning. You spent your day pampering yourself to the max, expecting to maybe go out later. Soon enough five o clock rolls around. You sit pretty and patient on the couch, telling yourself heâs just running a little late. You wait⊠and you wait.. sending text after text to your husband every hour.
Hubbyđâ€ïž
5:30pm
Y/n: Hey babe coming home soon?
6:15
Y/n: Toj idk what you have planned but iâm super excited! see you soonâ€ïž
7:23
Y/n: Hey is everything okay??
8:54
Y/n: Hello?
9:46
Y/n: Toji itâs almost 10 where are you?
10:27
Y/n: Toji?
You send your last text with tears falling from your eyes. You hate to think he forgot your birthday. It canât be. He just got caught up in something. It has to be. You check the time one last time. 11:03. You then tell yourself you need to go to bed. As you stand up from the couch the door opens and the man youâve been waiting for finally shows. You do nothing but stare at him, tears mixed with mascara running down your puffy cheeks. âThe hell happened to you?â he says, taking off his shoes, tie, and blazer. He begins to unbutton his shirt, purple marks adorning his chest. That was in that moment when something in you just⊠snapped.
âToji, what is today?â you slowly walk towards him. He shrugs, scratching the back of his head. âLook doll, iâm beat. Can we talk tomorrow?â he begins to walk towards the stairs that lead to your shared bedroom âNo. Absolutely the fuck not.â oh crap. did you just say that? he stops in his tracks and turns to you. âExcuse me?â Shitshitshitshitshit what do you say? why did u say that? âToji i asked you a question. What. Is. Today.â you keep up the tough girl act, too deep to back out now. âY/n.â he walks closer to you but you back away âToji today is my fucking birthday. Today is my birthday and iâve been home all day thinking my âhusbandâ was going to at least come home on time but you were out fucking some bitch!â You begin to yell, crying harder than you were before. âThe fuck are you talking about?â You werenât stupid, you knew he was cheating but who were you to say anything. You were nothing without him. You didnât want to ruin things. You canât lose him. âToji, i know youâre seeing someone else but i at least thought you would have some type of respect or decency to not do this to me on my fucking birthday.âYouâre falling apart in front of him.
The silence is strong. He walks towards you and wraps his arms around you, holding you close. âThings just havenât been right with me, i donât know why i do the things i do. You know how much you mean to me baby, i never want to hurt you.â i never want to hurt you. Those words replay in your mind. He brings his hands to hold your face, wiping your tears with his thumbs. âYou know I love you and only you, right?â you wanted to yell at him. You wanted to kick and scream but something in you made you believe every word he was saying. Instead of doing any of those things you just nodded. Shame rose in you but it all started to fade away when his lips connect with yours. You know this isnât right, this isnât healthy but that doesnât stop you from wrapping your arms around his neck and letting his hands wander. âIâm so sorry baby.â his lips travel to your neck. You try to hold back sounds but he knows just what to do to get it out if you. âGonna let me show my girl how sorry i am?â you just started at him. not wanting to say yes but you didnât want to disappoint him by saying no either.
You have to draw a line somewhere. âI think i just wanna go to sleepâŠâ Removing your hands from him and stepping back. His looks confused but he doesnât press further. Is it bad that part of you wishes he did? You wished he wouldâve showed some kind of kind want, not just wanting to fuck out of pity. You know why he didnât tho, he already got his fix of pussy for the night and it didnât come from you. What a shame.
That night you couldnât sleep, you were up all night silently crying. Is this really what your life was? You had lost yourself in this relationship. Your 26th birthday was a wake up call. The next few days were rough, he was just coming home later and later. Not to mention he wasnât even trying to hide his affairs, He started to be careless. Not bothering to cover the scratches or hickeys that covered his body, leaving his phone open when you could see messages from the multiple girls and having panties and various other items in his car that didnât belong to you. Itâs like he was trying to hurt you, but isnât that what he said he never wanted to do?
#anime#toji fushiguro#jjk#jjk thoughts#jjk toji#jjk x reader#jujutsu toji#toji angst#toji x reader#toji x y/n#toji x you#jujutsu kaisen toji#jjk x you#jjk shiu#jjk fanfic#jjk smut#jjk angst#jujitsu kaisen#jujutsu kaisen#toji zenin#toji fushigro x reader#toji fic#toji fluff#toji smut#jujustsu kaisen x reader#jujutsu megumi#jujutsu sorcerer
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` ` RED LIGHTS AND STOP SIGNS!
somehow, gojo satoru seems to not see the lights turn red, and crashes his car into yours. how blind can somebody be!? the car was right from the showroom too, maybe he'll be willing to pay compensation? wait, wait! don't get your hopes up! he'll probably flirt his way out of it...
content warnings! â slight nsfw suggestions, satoru being clumsy and a complete flirt, reader has a temper, sarcastic satoru, lowkey an enemies to lovers! this is filled with fluff btw, idk this is triggering plz lmk if it is guys!!
mara's notes! â guys first fic, sorry if its a little shortâčïžâčïž, thank u to mark pookie @wizzarabl with helping with finding prompts and inspo!! GO CHECK HIM OUT GUYS!! hope u alllllll enjoy this! requests are open <3.

skrrrrrt!
your eyes widen, and your flung a little forward in your seat as a loud gasp escapes your glossy pink lips. your frozen as your car stops its shaking.
did somebody just hit my car!?
your hand flies to the seat belt, opening it as you rush to open the car door and step out of the now damaged car. "are you kidding me..." you manage to mutter as your heels click on the rough pebble of the road, you manoeuvre sound the car.
a gasp louder than the first fills the air as you eye the damaged contents.
okay, it wasn't that bad, but it wasn't even okay either!
maybe you were a tad bit dramatic.
you hear the sound of another car door opening, shoes hitting the rough ground of the road. your head whips to the side, and your eyes flicker to a person stumbling over, barely standing upright.
the white haired man stands, his height very intimidating considering the fact that he stood atleast more than 6 inches higher from you.
the most infuriating thing was how insanely pretty he was.
he hit your car!? are you sure it was him?
he looked... not upset. totally like he didn't just smash your car that you were driving back from the showroom.
"are you blind!?" you exclaim. ouch, maybe that was a little too loud. "it was a red light, and you were going at 40!"
he blinks, before he cocks his head to the side, failing to keep a grin off his face.
"sorry sweetheart, couldn't see." obviously he couldn't see, who wears sunglasses in winter!? "your joking.. i just bought this car!" you complain, a frown painting your lips. "literally." you mumble, shoulders slumping as you eye the damage made.
his sharp gaze flickers to the car, and he cocks an eyebrow. "oops." he speaks, voice smooth as he moves forward to stand beside you. "well, i'm sure a little work would patch this baby back up."
"its a car, not a toy."
"no shit." a scoff leaves your mouth at his bluntness. "i want compensation for this." you speak up, you felt like you were gonna explode.
he blinks, head turning to look down at you, a smile forming on his face. "compensation?" the air suddenly felt hotter, uh oh.
your head shoots to the side, gaze locking with his. "huhâ yeah, compensation. its either compensation or i swear to god, i will report you, and get your licence taken off youâ" that's if he has one...
"calm down, princess. i dunno, what type of compensation ya' wanting?"
it clicked. the gears in your head turned, he meant something else. or he thought what you said had a whole different meaning.
"excuse me?" your jaw drops. "cash, cash would be preferable." you cut him off before he can speak, quickly suggesting (or rather telling, or maybe demandingâ) what you actually meant.
"cash?"
"cash."
"can i get your number first?" your brows furrow. "my number?" "it's for the compensation." he smiles, but anyone would know he's up to no good. your quiet, as if thinking about it.
before you know it, he's saved you down in his contacts.
"oh, by the way... is there a way i can pay the compensation without the cash? y'know, a date would be preferable."
#jjk#jujutsu kaisen#jjk x reader#jjk satoru#gojo satoru#gojo x reader#gojou satoru x reader#jjk fanart#jjk gojo#mara's work#jujutsu kaisen satoru#satoru gojo
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ౚà§â ËïœĄâ competition itadori yuuji / fem!reader ©mariademetal 2024
cw ... yuuji calls reader babe, everyone is a little stupid, idk what else, lmk if i should add anything note ... this was actually sooooo much fun to write, i luv yuuji so much and this idea came to me like a vision from jesus himself, i hope u all enjoy too (âÂŽâĄ`â) word count ... 1.1k
You've always liked Jennifer Lawrence.
You liked the Hunger Games growing up, but never bothered to read the books. When you turned a little older, you liked Silver Linings too. Maybe you didn't like her as much as some of your peers, maybe you never dressed up as Katniss for Halloween, but you certainly never hated her. She's pretty, she's a good actress, and although you wouldn't necessarily call yourself her fan, you can see why, hypothetically, someone might. You've always liked Jennifer Lawrence.
You've always liked Yuuji, too. He's always been a good friend to you, but now that your relationship with him is blossoming into something bigger, more important than friendship, you can't quite jump over the hurdle that is Jennifer Lawrence. Despite the fact that you have, as a matter of fact, always liked her, you feel nothing but mild discomfort and irritation as you make unrequited eye contact with the poster of her hung on Yuuji's wall.
What else are you meant to look at?
At first, it was easy enough to ignore her. Whenever you came to Yuuji's room you'd make a point to sit on his bed, back against the wall, safe from any unwanted eye contact with Jennifer's boobs. But the talking stage is weird like thatâ if Yuuji's already sitting on his bed, you certainly can't, and then you're forced back into a standstill, an ugly competition with a poster that cannot fight back.
So, the two of you start hanging out in your dorm. You would be lying if you said you hadn't considered getting some sweat mag poster of some ludicrously built American actor yourself, just to see Yuuji's reaction. You, thankfully, came to your senses and acknowledged that Yuuji would more likely ask to take it to hang on his own wall than ask you to take it down for the sake of his ego before you spent any money on your silly idea.
Unfortunately, when Nobara leaves her window open after a particularly humid day and finds that she's invited a mildew infestation into her dorm, she asks to shack up with you until her new room is set up, and thus you and Yuuji are forced back to his room.
Still, it was easy enough to ignore Jennifer. She was an unwelcome, near-overbearing presence in your relationship with Yuuji, but it wasn't like he mentioned her in your conversations, nor did he ever compare the two of youâ it was just that stupid poster hanging above his bed and the knowledge that he has called her his type, whatever that really means. So, it was survivable.
And there are so many other things you adore about Yuuji, tooâ like how he gives you his jacket when he feels even a draft, or how he takes pictures of things he knows you'll think are cute or pretty, or how he lets you prop your legs over his thighs whenever you watch movies together. You like what you have with himâ you don't like that fucking Jennifer Lawrence poster. Unfortunately for you, they seem like a package deal.
It was easy enough to ignore Jenniferâ emphasis on was. You could ignore Jennifer as long as he never mentioned her to you. For a long time, he didn'tâ no one's ever called Yuuji a genius, but he's always had the good sense to avoid the topic of a certain blonde actress with you. He had a spotless track record, apart from the existence of the poster itselfâ he was doing so well that you started to think you really could live with Jenniferâ then, he had the bright idea of asking you on a date to see her new movie.
The two of you were walking together when he askedâ the sun was setting, he'd just bought you a drink from the vending machine, your shoulders were touchingâ then, he just had to ask that wretched question. You don't think you've recoiled from another person's touch so fast before in your life. You also don't think you'll ever forget the look on his face after you replied to his question with, "Are you fucking with me?"
He asked if that meant the answer was no. (Again, no one ever called Yuuji a genius.)
So, after that display, why are you here, in his room, making the same awkward eye contact with Jennifer Lawrence's cold, dead, photographed eyes that you've been avoiding so fervently these past couple of months? Because you're making your final stand against Jennifer. She's got to go if Yuuji wants your relationship to go anywhere. You refuse to look at her bikini any longer than you've already been forced to.
That said, you can't exactly make your final stand against Jennifer until Yuuji is back from... wherever he is, so you are, unfortunately, stuck looking at Jennifer Lawrence's bikini for even longer than you've already been forced to.
It's only when Yuuji does come back that you realize how weird of a position he's caught you inâ just standing in the middle of his room, bag discarded on the floor next to you, staring at his damn poster like you're admiring a piece of art in a gallery.
He looks excited, at first, to see you, then excitement turns into confusion, probably at the fact that you're just... standing there, then concern. "What're you doin', babe?"
"We need to talk," is the first thing that comes out of your mouth, deathly serious.
Yuuji gulps. Literally gulps. "About what?"
"Jennifer."
You can see the relief painting his face when he realizes that you are not, as a matter of fact, breaking up with him. "What about Jennifer?"
"She needs to leave," You emphasize the last word in a way that makes your request sound less like a request and more like a plead. "I feel like the other woman."
"Okay, don't be dramaticâ"
"Don't call me dramatic!"
"I'm sorry!"
Yuuji purses his lips and brings his hand to the back of his head, as if he's weighing to pros and cons to standing his ground and keeping the poster. Just when you think you've finally won, that the cons outweigh the pros, he says, "Aren't relationships about compromise?"
"Yuuji, I swearâ"
"See the movie with me, and I'll take the poster down."
"Deal."
Maybe you should've thought about it longer. Maybe you should've weighed the pros and cons of this date, tooâ then, you see Yuuji sulking, watching from the corner of his room as you gleefully climb onto his bed to peel off the tape that attaches the poster to his wall, and it makes it all worth it.
You kiss him on the way out, and the goofy smile on his face tells you he feels the same way.
It'd better be a good movie.
#jjk x reader#jjk fluff#itadori x reader#yuuji x reader#yuuji fluff#yuji x reader#itadori yuji x reader
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âWalk inâ Doug Remer x Reader
Doug Remer x afab reader
A/N: I donât ever post stuff like this so idk if itâs even good. I wrote this over a few days and didnât really do a read through so it might be messy If u want a more explicit pt2 lmk bc I have ideas.
word count: 2209
warnings: slight smut?? Reader Slapping Doug. Slight Perv Remer. I think thatâs it. Iâm not too sure how to tag these things yet so sorry if Iâm missing something.
summary: Doug Remer walks in on you changing after a long day at work
~~~~~~~~~~
You had been roommates with Doug Remer and Joe Cooper for a while now. They were the only two idiot stupid enough to offer you the lowest rent in the city. With a price of course.
You had been hanging out with the boys after a game sitting on the porch out back drinking beer and talking about how you had just been unfairly evicted.
~~FLASHBACK~~
âIâll let you stay for only 400 a month.â Remer had offered kicking his legs up in the Adirondack chair.
Your eyes widened. âAre you serious!?â You asked sitting up, clutching the neck of your beer tightly in your hand.Â
He snorted taking a sip of his beer. âYeah on one condition- if you let me and Coop see your titsâ he smirked from behind the bottle.
You scowled at him. Remer had been trying to get you to flash them for a while now. He had some weird thing for boobs. He was a creep- not in a weird way though. You had basically grown up with him so you guys bickered about this stuff back and forth. And I mean, No one else was gonna offer you a deal like this, and itâs not like theyâd be the only guys whoâd have seen them.
You sighed standing up.
Coop looked up at you âhe- what are you doing?â He asked leaning forward in his chair.Â
âGetting my $400 a month for rent you shrugged.Â
Remers mouth dropped open as you started to lift your shirt.Â
âNo fucking- ahw my god.â He groaned sinking back into his chair, his eyes fixated on you as you flashed them.
âTake a good look, this is the last time youâre gonna see themâ you stated coldly.
Remer sat back in his chair sucking his teeth, his hazel eyes burning holes into your chest.Â
You dropped your shirt. âHappy?â You asked annoyed.
Coop sat wide eyed looking between you and remer unable to speak.Â
âMi casa es su casaâ Remer chuckled softly outstretching his arms.Â
~~END FLASHBACK A YEAR LATER~|
You had just gotten home from work. You hated the long hours you were scheduled, you felt like you werenât getting paid enough.Â
The job caused your whole body to ache. Your body was tense and you had a bunch of anger pent up from dealing with stupid customers all day.Â
You stripped yourself out of the faded black jeans replacing them with comfortable fleece shorts. You reached for your top pulling it over your head searching your drawers for some over sized t-shirt.
âHey (y/n) I donât see any pizza bites left in the-âÂ
The door swung open as Remer entered the room not bothering to knock.Â
âDoug!â You cried going to cover your torso with a sheet. You had a bra on but you still felt uncomfortable with him seeing you exposed like this.Â
His eyes widened and he put his hands up in defense. âWoah woah calm down. Iâve seen chicks boobs before, no biggieâÂ
He stood there, door wide open behind him like this was normal. You rolled your eyes at him. âDoug, get outâ you pointed towards the door.Â
âHey Iâm just sayinââ he let his eyes wander down your body, drinking in the sight before him. You took a book from the night stand throwing it at him. He dodged it, a shit eating grin making its way on his face.Â
âFine whatever Iâll leaveâ he said with attitude. âI was just gonna ask if you bought pizza bites while at the storeâÂ
You scoffed. âRemer it wasnât my turn to go to the store todayâÂ
Remer shut the door behind him mumbling something about what he was supposed to eat if no one went to the store. You sighed pulling a shirt over your head.
You headed for the kitchen a little while later deciding you would see if you could find anything to satisfy the pains in your stomach. Doug was on the couch watching tv. You were surprised he didnât have cable porn pulled up, beating himself in the middle of the living room.Â
You dug through the panty finding pasta and sauce. You put a pot on the stove to boil.Â
âCan I have it?â A voice asked from behind you.Â
Your turned around to see Doug leaning against the counter.
âHave what?â You asked annoyed stirring the water as an encouragement to boil faster.Â
âYou know.â He shrugged.
âNo Doug. I donât know actuallyâ you turned away from him. You heard his feet against the tile as he moved closer.
He leaned against the counter next to you, stupid gap toothed smile plastered across his face.
âYour braâ he grinned.Â
âDoug, shut upâ you said giving him the shoulder.Â
âIs that a no?â He asked. You turned from the pot, your mouth open.Â
âAre you fucking serious?â Â
âWell youâre wearing one of my teams jerseys itâs only fair I have something of yoursâ He protested.
You didnât say anything turning away again.Â
He leaned down whispering in your ear. âPlease?â
You had no idea what he wanted it for but it was probably for some perverted personal fantasy of his.Â
âIt doesnât have to be the one your wearingâ he tried to compromise.Â
âRemer, Iâm gonna hit you if you donât back upâ you warned not making eye contact.Â
You could feel the smirk playing on his lips without him uttering a word.Â
âCmon, I know youâve got a ton of them that drawerâ he purredÂ
âDoug.â You warned.Â
âwhat about that green oneâŠor the lacy black one that has the matching panti-âÂ
Before you could think your hand had swept across his face slapping him.
âSon of a bitch- did you go through my drawer?!â You yelled demanding an answer. You felt bad but from after the long day youâd had you were bound to have had snapped at some point.Â
He was holding his jaw looking offended.  âOuchâ he mumbled rubbing his jaw. âYâknow you should join the team, youâve got quite the arm.âÂ
You were infuriated with him. Of course he would go through your drawers like that. Him and Coop had quite the reputation or stealing panties from house parties they went to, keeping them like trophies. Almost never were they actually taken from off the girls themselves. Why would you an an exception.
âFuck you, fucking freakâ you murmured from under your breath.Â
âLook, Iâm sorryâ Remer came up behind you, his chest grazing against your shoulders and back.Â
âThe drawer was halfway open and I just couldnât help myselfâ he mumbled.Â
The pot was boiling as you added the noodles to the mix not saying anything to the curly haired boy.
He hugged you from behind leaning down to whisper in your ear. â âm really sorry. I promise it was a one time thingâ he mumbled into your ear.Â
You huffed and rolled your eyes.
âWant some spaghetti?â You asked him disregarding his apologies.Â
âPlease..â he mumbled again hands tightening around your waist.
Your heart fluttered in your chest at his touch. You were used to Remer being touchy like this, the occasional hug, kiss on the forehead, or cuddling on the couch to watch a movie. And that accidental drunk hookup a few years ago..
âYou smell good..â he said into your shoulder.Â
You scoffed. âI smell like workâ
He stayed there with his head forced into the crook of your neck.Â
âIâm sorry for asking that, I just let my imagination get the best of me..âÂ
You hummed in response still a little annoyed but you felt bad for hitting him, you had reacted without thinkingÂ
âLemme make it up to youâ he said muffled by your skin. âStop the stove and Iâll give you a massage, I can feel how tense you are.âÂ
You sighed. Maybe he was right. You didnât want to be a dick to coop when he came home too. Plus with his huge hands, he gave the best massages. You turned the dial, moving the pot off the stove.Â
âGo lay on my bed, you can take your shirt off, Iâll waitâ he told you.
You obeyed his orders going to his room and pressing your bare chest to the sheets. While you waited you looked around. His room was messy. It was always cluttered. Knickknacks covered the shelves and there was dirty laundry on the floor.Â
Remer came in a few moments later with a bottle of lotion.
âMmKay just relaxâ he said squirting some into his hands.
You pressed your face into the mattress as his hands got to work. It felt so good. Remer was so good at finding all the tense knots and working them out.Â
âMmmâ you hummed into the mattress.
âFeel good?â He asked his hands gliding over your skin.
You nodded and he chuckled in response.
You let out a soft moan as he worked out a knot in your upper shoulder.
âDoug, howâre you so good at thisâ you sighed into the sheets.Â
You could feel his hot breath on your ear as he leaned down. âIâm just good with my handsâ you could sense his grin even though you couldnât see his face.Â
âIs that so?âÂ
âMhm, but you wanna know what Iâm even better with?â He asked his hot breath in your ear.
âWhatâs thatâ you turned your head to the side to look at him. There was that gapped tooth grin.Â
âMy mouthâÂ
You grinned a little shaking your head.Â
âWanna see?âÂ
Your body stiffened a little as your heart started to pick up its pace. Last time something intimate happened like this between you two you were both shit faced drunk. Without alcohol in your system your heart beat rapidly against your rib cage like it was trying to break out.
He lowered his lips to your shoulder and started leaving hot open mouthed kisses on your skin.Â
âDougâ you started to protest.
He ghosted his lips against your shoulder until he reached your neck, kissing at the sensitive skin.Â
You shivered at the feeling, nipples starting to harden.
âDoesnât it feel good?â He hummed against your skin.Â
You didnât respond, trying to focus on something other than his mouth exploring your body.
He took that as an invitation to keep going. Open mouthed kisses soon turned into sucking and nipping at the sensitive skin.  You lifted your neck and in the process causing your sensitive buds to rub against the rough sheets.Â
You let out a soft whine trying to muffle it with the mattress.
He tsked âdonât be embarrassed nowâÂ
His attacks against your neck became harsher and before you knew it you were turning around to face him.
He looked down at your bare chest âwell hello thereâ he smirked.Â
âDoug..â you werenât sure if it was a rebuff or a plead for more.
He gave you a goofy grin before wrapping his arms around your lower back pulling you closer as he attacked your neck again.
You tilted your head back giving him more room to work with. He trailed hot kisses down your collar bones, occasionally lingering to suck deep purple marks into your skin, until he reached your chest. When he got to your breasts he took a nipple in his mouth sucking softly.Â
Your hand shot up to tangle itself in his mess of curls as he started to roll the bud between his tongue.
âDoug..â your breath hitched as you tugged softly.Â
He hummed against the skin, the feeling going straight to your core.Â
You used your hand in his hair to guide his mouth around your breast. The coolness of his glasses pressing into your chest as you pushed his face further in.Â
âGod..â you breathed out softly.Â
He let his teeth graze over or causing you to whine.Â
He lifted his head coming up to meet your eyes.
âI told you Iâm good with my mouthâ he said leaning in closer.
âY-youâre not badâ you responded trying to blow the situation off.Â
âI could show you more if you want, that was just the beginning.â he offered a smirk on his face.Â
âYeah?âÂ
âMhmâ he nodded his curls bouncing as he glanced down at your lips.Â
You leaned forward going to meet his.Â
âYou couldnât begin to fathom the kind of pleasure my mouth bringsâ You could feel his hot Breath on your face as he spoke, his eyes half lidded.
âWhoâs making pasta?â A voice called from the other room.
You jumped back from Remer, and rushed to grab your shirt.Â
âShit Coops homeâ you stood up shrugging your shirt on, completely forgetting about your bra lying on Remers messy floor.Â
âAwe câmonnnnâ Remer groaned throwing his head back.Â
âRemer Iâm not letting Joe catch us, the last thing I wanna do is make him uncomfortable.â you said heading for the door.
âGod well leaving me like this is uncomfortable..Fucking cockblockâ he muttered under his breath.Â
He watched you leave the room as he cursed to himself tucking himself in his waistband going out to join you and Coop.Â
He took a mental note to flush the toilet the next time Joe was taking a shower.Â
ââââââ
Pt. 2 here
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so i feel like how aspec sexuality connecting to abandonment trauma and personality disorders is not talked ab enough, well it is by ppl with personality disorders but i wanna talk ab it basically w my experience w bpd and being aro/ace spectrum
and i know fellow bpd havers know the feeling of being unlovable very well. For me i'm demiromantic and it would take literal years for me to actually develop a genuine romantic attraction to someone, and if when i do, that person would straight up become my fp and it would be torture pain and suffering (for me mostly)
Like romantic feelings for me is nothing fun, because its linked to my mental issues inherently i feel. And i still want a romantic relationship one day but that feeling of being unlovable and like, i'm just not suited for it (in the sense that i couldnt handle it i feel) is like,, i will just not try there is no point. I will suffer for another person always wondering do they hate me will they leave me, ofc they will there's not much i can offer even. I will end up hating the person i love and then go back to loving them and then hating them etc etc.. Not to mention amanormativity (idkkk if thats how u spell it or if thats the right term) but basically i assume people want something from me that i simply cannot give. I will never be able to have sex with someone, i will never want to, I actually just wouldn't put myself thru that for someone else and because i feel like thats all anyone would actually want from me i will just probably never want to be in a relationship. Like for me personally i'm supperrr asexual like u have no idea i've known i was ace since i was literally 10 yrs old and nothing has changed i will always be like this, and i dont mind doing *some* suggestive sexual stuff if its fun and chill but the second a line gets crossed i just want no part in it and i refuse to put myself thru that.
And i'm also very fine w being single like i only ever feel like i want a gf once in awhile but i feel completely whole just by myself and my life is objectively easier and more relaxing without romance. For me i don't think i'll actually be ready for a genuine romantic relationship until i feel like i am and that will be hopefully when i'm older lol
Idk i feel like because of the stigma against aro/ace ppl and also the experience of bpd, it enhances the feeling of being unlovable. But I want to make it clear to ppl reading this post that i'm aware that i actually am lovable, this is just a feeling. And i didn't write this to complain, and if you have the same experience as me or a similar one, that doesn't mean there is no hope for you or for me. The world is so much bigger than how my brain perceives everything. Like i do want to stress that these feelings are mostly a symptom of my mental illness lol and if you have bpd or a pd it doesn't make you unlovable, bc everyone is lovable by default yknow.
Even people who's hearts are a mouthful, like mine. And even if ur reading this and you don't have the experience of having a pd but you still have feelings of being unlovable or like, there is no hope for you in romance because you are arospec or acespec or both like me, well there is hope for everyone because the world is so much bigger than societies stigma and people are as diverse as the stars.. But lmk if you have a similar experience anywayz ppl <3
#longish post#bpd#actually bpd#borderline personality disorder#actually borderline#asexual#aspec#aromantic#demiromantic#bambi lesbian#ace lesbian#personality disorder#aroace#acespec#arospec
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i noticed a lack of kappa content too đ€š if u r fine with writing kappa just hear me out on this (inspired by my c.ai convo with my own kappa bot)
kappa breaking into some random persons house just to steal but shes a bit of a night owl. he quietly walks to the living room and sees this adorable more than likely rich housewife (so yeah theres a tad bit of cheating.) anyways her husbands out for a few weeks for business and shes in her short satin nightgown, sat on the couch and watching tv. and then she sees the intruder and is like "AHH OMG WTF" (rightfully so coz bro BROKE IN) and hes like "my bad. didnt mean to startle you, doll." (coz hes flirtatious like dat) and he walks over and lifts her up, hand holding her neck tightly and he runs his fingers across her pearls, yanking on the necklace. the pearls dont fall ofc (coz real pearls have knots between each pearl to prevent them falling like that... my great grandma had a lot of jewelry and most were real pearls.) ANYWAYS BACK TO MY POINT !!! her husbands been gone for so long so shes getting a tad aroused and he notices coz he can feel the increase in her pulse and hes like "oh do you enjoy that?" and idk what else coz frankly my c.ai convo is very different from what i wrote
i had this exact same convo on c.ai omgg! i love ur requests sm u dont even understand
"im a little shy standing here in my nightgown." | kappa
playing dangerous. - lana del rey
female!reader x kappa
word count: 632
contents: cheating, home invasion
ps: i have an nsfw fic in my drafts that ive been meaning to get out that would go very well for a part 2 of this. yall should lmk if you wanna see it!
it was a dark and stormy night. Your husband was out of town for a while, which left you all alone in your giant mansion. even though youâd dreamed of living in a mansion since you were small, it got really lonely when there was nobody to share it with.
thunder and lightning bolted outside, making the entire house flicker with light for a fraction of a second. you were flipping through the tv channels, looking for something good to watch. the clock struck midnight, and at the same second, you heard glass in your house breaking.
you felt your heart stop for a moment. you look behind you, your body shaking with fear. all the windows behind you were intact, meaning that the noise came from something else. You tried reassuring yourself by assuming that the sound came from outside, when you felt a firm hand grab your chin.
you slowly turned your head to see the owner of the hand, and your blood ran cold. you screamed and tried to back up a little on the couch when you saw the weapon in his hand. He looks at you, a little smirk on his face. âsorry about that, sugar⊠i thought that youâd be asleep.â his voice was smooth like honey, making your heart beat a little faster. he started approaching you slowly.Â
he smiles, showing his teeth a little. âdont be scared, doll. If you're good for me, then i won't have to hurt you..â heâs standing right in front of you. your body is trembling with fear. thatâs when he picked you up and threw you over his shoulder. he brought you to a red velvet armchair and seated you on his lap, his eyes travelling down your body in your skimpy little nightgown.
he brought a hand to your neck, looking at the pearl necklace around it. âmy, my⊠isnât this preciousâŠâ he tugged on the necklace, seeing if it would break. he looked into your eyes, which were still fear-filled. âtell me, sugar⊠do you live here all alone?â his voice turned to a sultry tone. you tried processing what he meant by that, but he wrapped his hand around your neck, making you shiver.
ân-no⊠i have a husbandâŠâ he hums disappointedly at this. âwell i dont see himâŠâ you brushed your hair out of your face. âyeah. he travels for work a lotâŠâ he starts cradling you in his arms, lulling you into a sense of comfort. âit gets real lonely hereâŠâ you didnt know why you were opening up to him. maybe it was because you knew he could kill you if he wanted to.
his eyes wandered down to your body, fully soaking in the beauty of it in your dark red nightgown. âthis is a beautiful little gownâŠâ he said quietly. He carefully ran a hand down your curves, making your body heat up. It had been a while since youâd been touched like this. You hadnt noticed that you were so deprived.
you take a moment to look into his beautiful blue eyes. they look like two cold pieces of ice. but they were sharp like a blade. his hands moved down to your hips, just barely lifting up your nightgown. âa woman as beautiful as you has no right to be all aloneâŠâ you feel your body fillign with desire. You had never been so needy before, but you just felt yourself melting into his touch more and more.
âhow about i show you a good time tonight, sugar? would you be up to that?â he whispered into your neck, starting to bite it softly. you started thinking about how wrong this was, remembering your promise to always stay loyal to the man you loved, but you decided to let this strange intruder to have his way with you for the night.
author's note: im very tempted to post my other kappa fic, but yall should let me know. thank you so much for the request!!
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assigning bsd characters mitski songs + analysis ! (bsd music hc #4)
. . last words of a shooting star - tw sv!c!de mention
"And did you know the liberty bell is a replica Silently housed in its original walls?" i think its about seeming to be something you arent. the liberty bell is fake but looks real, representing how he never shows his true self and puts on a "fake" front so that the world percieves him that way. another small detail that can also be interpreted is how it says "original walls", this could mean how or if he thinks he could truly become a better person and let go of who he originally was.
"I always wanted to die clean and pretty But I'd be too busy on working days" chose this line mainly for the su!cidal theme idk what to interpret in it
"I am relieved that I left my room tidy they'll think of me kindly" shows how he wouldnt want anyone to worry even after his death, if hes constantly putting on a facade as to not worry anyone (not that anyone WOULD worry, bc of how he constantly treats his problems like a joke, not making it seem like a big deal) this interpretation makes a little sense. "they'll think of me kindly" , he wants to die believing he's a good person, and to make everyone else believe that too. he wants to fulfil oda's last wish before dying.
ermerm idk how to end this cries
anywyas yayay lmk what u think of this or if i misinterprted smth correct me pls !!! ly all

#me self projecting no clickbait#dazai kinnie#bsd#dazai#character analysis#kinnie analysis#mitski#mitski lyrics#I HAVE SO MANY MORE MITSKI SONGS ID ASSIGN HIM BUT THIS IS ALREADY PRETTY LONG#sorry if i mischaracterised at any point#sillyposting#angst?#dazai angst#last words of a shooting star
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đËàż Artist! S/O - Isagi, Bachira, Reo, Sae
â°ââ€Hcs of them with an Artistic S/O!! Genre: Fluff and crack Gn!reader or Any gender Warnings: Swearing, Not proof read bcs im lazy, idk wat else but lmk if theres anything else Waiter's Note: OH LOOK WHO FINALLY PULLED THIS OUTTA THEIR DRAFTS AFTER A WHOLE ASS 5 MONTHS LMAOO I HOPE U GUYS ENJOY <33 Reqs Open as usual!! Masterlists
Now Playing: An Art Gallery Could Never Be As Unique As You
Very VERY VERYYYY fascinated on what you do, he thinks it's really cool
He canonly likes art too so let him join in!!
Draw him in any way like even a small doodle and he WILL COMBUST
He decorated his wall infront of his desk with your drawings and doodles, other things like custom keychains, origami, glass paintings are on his desk so he can see it everyday when he wakes up đ„čđ„č
Study dates with you two often end up in drawing-cuddling sessions
Starting with studying so you can both pass your exams to you two beside eachother, legs tangled under the kotatsu table while you both lay on your stomachs, drawing whatever you felt like drawing đ«¶
Let's just hope that you both pass your exams đđ
When you have art block or you feel stressed, he offers to take you out to a walk (yk he loves those esp with you)
It may seem kinda annoying at first but trust me, it does WONDERS
YOUR WORKS ARE DISPLAYED THROUGHOUT THE ISAGI HOUSEHOLD âš
His parents like your creations too but they ALWAYS remind you whenever you come over that it's okay to take breaks and do other things đ„čđ
He's not rich by all means, but he's willing to spend his money to get you supplies u want
When he got the letter for blue lock, you both agreed to meet at a park at night and you talked things through, promising to work hard and improve while you both are separated
Whenever the topic of art or s/o comes in, he just ends up talking everyones ear off in blue lock and the question was just from a truth or dare gameđ
Whether or not you got recognized for your art and got more commissions/promotions or quit art to start something new that interests you, he's supportive just as you are for him đ«¶
HE LOVES ART, AND YOUR AN ARTIST?? MATCH MADE IN HEAVEN
Introduces you to his mom <33 you both share tips and tricks and now she's like your teacher ITS SO CUTE
But Meguru gets pretty pouty if you just sit there beside his mom talking about art related things all day đ
If you let him lay down on your lap and give him occasional kisses then he'll be able to sit still for a while longer
You gave him a bee-themed soccer ball you painted once and he ALWAYS has it on his bed so he can fall asleep hugging it đ„č
He doesn't play with it tho, atleast not outdoors bcs he doesn't wanna ruin it đđ
Painting with him and his mom if she isn't busy!!
He always plays around and puts paint on your face, his mom scolds him for it LMAOO
Don't take him to art museums pls đđ HAVE YOU SEEN HOW HE WAS IN THE LIGHT NOVEL?? you both would get in trouble just because he was bored đ
BRAGS TO EVERYONE AND ANYONE IN BLUE LOCK ABOUT YOU THAT THEY LITERALLY KNOW YOU AND EVERY SINGLE ART PIECE YOU HAVE DONE BEFORE EVEN MEETING YOU OR SEEING THEM đđđ
Has tried to eat paint before đ§ââïžMuch worse if you paint food then bro might try it again đđđ
You sit on a bench nearby and draw while he practices, it's relaxing, just watch out for the ball đđ
Oh boy
Id say for a FACT that you were broke until you started dating him unless you have really cheap materials or you're just really good at saving
Yk how art materials and art school is so ridiculously expensive?? Well, your LOVELY boyfriend here has it all covered
Mans literally already bought a whole art shop đ
Its not like it's anything new *looks at art big art studio*
PLEASE get a frying pan and smack some sense into this man's head bcs he was just about to buy his way into getting your art showcased in an art gallery/convention
He might, MIGHT stop if you use his own words against him. Like the whole 'i want to carve my own future' thing
Lets be fr, he won't stop, the most he could do is stop bribing his way to get your art showcased
Bby supports you alot tho :((
He just admires how much effort you're able to put in each work
When art block kicks in, he'll take you to go to expensive art galleries or to wherever the Mona Lisa is currently being showcased at
Just drag him out and tell him u wanna learn soccer đ it's honestly more fun than roaming around an art gallery
Paint him with his parents and they'll already start planning your marriage đđ
Bro when collage comes along, then your tuition fees and apartment bills are already paid like??? I wonder how đ€
PLS DRAW HIM AND SHOW HIM THAT THERE ARE OTHER WAYS TO EXPRESS LOVE OTHER THAN MONEY SPENDING BCS HE'LL ACTUALLY UNDERSTAND WITH ALL THE TIME, EFFORT AND SKILL YOU PUT IN
He DEFINITELY frames all the drawings/paintings you give him. No buts
Let's be fr, he probably has a room in his house filled with your creations đ§ââïž
I'm pretty sure that blue lock allows anything to be brought unless it's a phone or something (because they'll have to earn it back) so Reo brought this photo album/journal decorated by you and/or your drawings
AND YK THOSE MINI PRINTERS??? HE BROUGHT ONE TOO SO WHENEVER YOU SEND A NEW ARTWORK, HE PRINTS IT đđ
Talks Nagi's ear off every time đ
Supportive bank in general đ jkjk pls don't use him just for money or I will come for your eyeballs đ€
Sae is pretty chill compared to his hardcore emo brother like did you see that one panel where he wanted to go home in the middle of a game while applying lotion???
He doesn't seem like the type to check social media often too so I hc that he draws after practices when he gets home to cool down for the night yk
I can definitely see him drawing his favorite characters from Chibi Maruko-chan whenever he feels stressed or has a bad day because of his stupid teammates who play like headless chickens đ(his words not mine)
So like when YOU came in, it's like he's surrounded by comfort when you two draw in silence while listening to your shared playlist đŒ
drawing fanarts for him that you wanna show off to everyone since he's beautiful and he's even more beautiful in your artstyle <33
he doesnt know about it tho because thats too embarrassing
rin follows you on that account with his private acc LMAOOOOOO
LISTEN. IMAGINE DRAWING HIM WITH HIS YEE YEE LOOKIN ASS BANGS AND TEASING HIM ABOUT IT HAHAHSHAHA
you secretly sent one to Rin for funsies once and he sent you a pic of Sae when he was young back, now you both have this sketchy deal thing going on that Sae doesnt know SHIT about
dw tho, both your mouths are sealed because now you got Rin to approve of you
If you live with him abroad, then your apartment/house is FILLED with notes/drawings/sketches/paintings/origamis, etc. im not exaggerating at ALL.
Imagine those cute and decorated fridges but make it the ENTIRE house
You both just slap some sticky note on walls, tables, chairs, cabinets, shelves, counters and draw on it,and neither of you clean them up, you just leave it there đđ
it comes off when it comes off ig đ€·
If you dont live with him abroad, then you guys have a minecraft server you both share thats literally FILLED with builds. Somehow, Sae's RIDICULOUSLY fast at learning these things and now hes an architect đ§ââïž
Also those cooperative drawing websites/games?? yeah, you both have them OFTEN, like, every night other than when hes like SUPER tired
just stick to screenshoting him and drawing on his face
He buys you anything you need/want too and theres basically no stopping him đ€·đ€·
Tagging: @inariezaki
[1341 words]
#blue lock x reader#bllk x reader#blue lock x you#blue lock headcanons#bllk isagi#bllk bachira#bllk reo#bllk sae#itoshi sae x reader#sae itoshi x reader#blue lock sae x reader#sae x reader#reo mikage x you#mikage reo x reader#reo mikage x reader#bachira x reader#bachira meguru x reader#meguru bachira x reader#isagi x reader#isagi yoichi x reader#yoichi isagi x reader
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Hello there, I hope ur doing alrightđ. I would like to request a LMK x dragon female or gender-neutral reader(ur choiceđ«”đŸ)headcanon
U probably already done a dragon reader already but what if the dragon reader was like Sisu in Raya & the Last Dragon? Whether if she's silly like Sisu or is someone like Mei. âšïžWhatever u think is bestâšïž
If u already did it then I can request something else. Have a good day/nightđđ«¶đŸ(platonically)
ive already done a dragon reader, but you can request something else! this fnadom loves dragon reader for some reason, and i get it, theyre badass, dont worry i gotchu
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